


Because of You I Might Think Twice

by argentress



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (kinda), (why is FaceTime sex not a tag?), Alternate Universe - No Band, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys with Painted Nails, Cunnilingus, Enthusiastic Consent, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Gender Exploration, Internalized Biphobia, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Questioning, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-07-12 10:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19944997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentress/pseuds/argentress
Summary: “Jenna? Jenna Black.”  She turns at her name to find a guy staring at her over her right shoulder. He looks vaguely familiar—dark hair, intense eyes, a crooked smile—and it takes her a beat to place him. It’s the missing letterman jacket.(Or, the one where Jenna falls in love with Tyler, and then in love with Josh, and then in love with them together.)





	1. Chapter 1

Hounddog’s is packed, more so than usual on a Friday night, and Jenna’s left blindsided by having to fight her way up to the bar. 

“Can I get a rum and coke?” The bartender gives her a quick nod before moving off, and Jenna glances up and down the bar at the sea of people. 

It’s mostly college kids, back in town for the start of the semester, and Jenna can’t help but groan. Columbus is infinitely more palatable without Ohio State kids getting drunk at all hours of the night and filling up her favorite local spots, but it can’t be avoided. Besides even she’s technically a tourist now, sleeping on the pull out couch in her parents’ guest room, acting like this is still her home when it really isn’t anymore. It hasn’t been for a while. 

“Jenna? Jenna Black.” She turns at her name to find a guy staring at her over her right shoulder. He looks vaguely familiar—dark hair, intense eyes, a crooked smile—and it takes her a beat to place him. It’s the missing letterman jacket that throws her off. 

“Holy shit, Tyler! What’re you doing here?”

He laughs as they lean in for a hug, and sixteen year old Jenna’s heart drops into her stomach at the casual touch. “I live here, I should be asking you that.”

Her cheeks pink up slightly in a blush. “True enough. Just home for the weekend, visiting my parents.”

“Nice.” He’s smiling at her, and it’s like she’s in high school all over again. 

“So how’ve you been, what’re you up to?”

“Good, not much. Dad’s got me coaching at the high school and I teach music during the week.”

Jenna rests a hand on his shoulder, stopping him, and is pleased at her boldness. “Wait, at _our_ high school?”

He laughs and she can feel it through where her fingers rest on well-worn flannel. “Yup, never quite got away.”

“I bet it suits you though. I bet all the kids call you coach, and they look up at all the banners from your championships in awe.”

His smile is soft, pink barely dusting his cheeks, and it pulls at Jenna’s heart in a way she can’t quite describe. “I hope so.”

They stare at each other for a moment, small smiles, soaking each other up, before the bartender reappears at her elbow with her drink. Jenna slides a twenty across the worn wood, and the bartender gives her a nod before disappearing again. The kids around her keep moving, talking loudly to their friends, pounding back shots, but Jenna feels frozen as she turns back to Tyler. She would have given anything to talk to him like this in high school, for him to acknowledge her and flash that charismatic smile her way. She doesn’t want it to end. 

“You’re not here alone are you?” His eyes glint, like he can’t quite believe someone like her would ever be alone at a bar. She feels a little bit of pride in being able to reassure him that this is not the case. 

“No, my friends are out on the patio. Do you wanna join us?” She stunned at her fearlessness, amazed that shy, quiet Jenna Black could be brave enough to ask Tyler Joseph, the most popular guy in school, to hang out with her. Maybe she really has changed. 

“Sure, that’d be great.” His smile is blinding, and Jenna feels warmed all the way down to her toes. 

The patio is similarly busy, pockets of people arranged around tables or underneath dormant standing heaters. Jenna’s friends are huddled around one such heater, laughing over drinks and swapping stories. She hasn’t seen most of them for months, friendships held together tenuously by infrequent texts, but here it’s like nothing has changed. It could be spring break during college, or a Friday night after a basketball game, time just seems to stand still. Adding Tyler to the mix only makes her feel even more like she’s her teenage self again. 

“Look who I bumped into at the bar. Guys, you remember Tyler.” He gives a quick wave, a soft blush coloring his cheeks as they all rush to say hello, welcoming him in. Jenna feels the tiniest bit of gratification when he settles into the circle next to her, close enough that their shoulders are almost touching. 

She takes a sip of her drink as the conversation washes over her. Her mind is elsewhere, focused on the fact that Tyler is close enough to touch, his aftershave mixing with the smell of alcohol and smoke. They’d never spent time together like this in high school. They’d been friendly, sure, in the way everyone was when your school had only 1500 kids, but they’d always run in separate circles. Tyler had been everything in high school: the star basketball player, homecoming king, and one of the most charismatic people Jenna had ever met. There was just something about him that made everyone feel at ease, a magnetism that made you want to be the center of his attention, whether good or bad. Jenna certainly hadn’t been immune to it. 

Kelsey passes the lit joint her way, and Jenna takes it without thinking. It’s not until she notices Tyler staring at her, almost open mouthed, that it occurs to her that this might be a surprising action. She exhales, blowing the smoke out above their heads, and gives him a look. “What?”

“Jenna Black, smoking a joint. I am shocked.” He follows his words with a cheeky grin, fingers outstretched for the aforementioned item, and Jenna feels elated rather than offended. 

She hands it over, laughing, and watches as he takes a long pull, never breaking eye contact with her. “I have tattoos and an undercut too.”

“A what?” He speaks over his exhale, voice stilted, and raises an eyebrow. 

Jenna doesn’t answer, instead turning her head and pulling up her long, blonde hair to reveal the shorn underside. She’d gotten it on a whim, encouraged by one of her friends at work, and instantly fallen in love with it. It was exactly the amount of rebellious she wanted to be. At work, with her hair down, she was the same hard working, studious girl she’d always been. But when it was up she felt like she did every time she looked at her tattoos in the mirror: different, and stronger than she would have let herself feel even ten years ago. She liked how she had changed, who she had become. 

When she turns back around Tyler’s face looks impressed, like it wasn’t what he’d expected but something he liked all the same. Jenna’s heart flutters in her chest. “It looks good on you.”

“Thanks.” Their fingers brush, as Tyler passes her back the joint, and it’s like electricity shooting up her arm. She consciously has to stop from shaking her hand to dispel the feeling. 

Jenna passes the joint back to Kelsey, their eyes meeting, and the other girl raises her eyebrows meaningfully. Kelsey was front row for Jenna’s crush, all through middle school and high school, the long suffering best friend talking her down after every minor exchange. She knew that Jenna still had a thing for him, that she’d probably always have a thing for Tyler Joseph, and without even speaking Jenna could hear Kelsey’s voice in her head. If she didn’t go for it, didn’t try and make this moment into something more, the other girl would never forgive her. 

The next hour passes easily; Tyler laughs with her friends, nursing his beer, and Jenna falls in love with each movement of his hands, each smile that fills his face. He’s kinder than she ever imagined, giving advice, listening intently, making everyone feel seen and acknowledged. It’s not hard to understand why everyone was so enamoured of him, regardless of your social circle. Tyler makes you feel like those things don’t exist, like you’re all just trying to get through this together. Like you’re not alone. Every time he looks at her she feels warm, and can’t keep the smile off her face. 

By 10:30 things are starting to slow. Yawns start to punctuate stories, bodies naturally slump against each other, and Jenna knows the night is coming to an end. There’s a part of her that wants to live in this moment forever, in the easy conversation and casual intimacy of her friends. The edges of her mind are soft, blurred by the weed and alcohol, and she feels content and safe. She realizes at some point that she’s leaned into Tyler, shoulder resting against his arm, and that he’s smiling at her every so often. 

“I need some ice cream. You guys wanna go to Jeni’s?” Tyler looks down at her when he says it, even though the question is posed to the group. 

“I gotta head home, I’m falling asleep on my feet.” Kelsey is the first to answer, and everyone follows suit. “But you guys go, enjoy.”

Jenna could kiss her. 

“You up for it?” He turns to look down at her, and Jenna’s blue eyes meet dark brown. 

“Yeah, sounds good.”

They say goodbye to the group, ambling downtown at a comfortable pace. Jenna can’t stop thinking about their hands swinging back and forth next to each other, about how she could reach out and lace her fingers with his. Every time their hands pass each other it’s like she can feel them pulling at each other, their own kind of magnetism. Jeni’s is quiet, this late at night, and they’re back out in the night air, ice cream in hand, before long. They wander through the streets, talking and exchanging spoonfuls, Jenna unable to banish the smile from her face. 

“Y’know,” She starts, still warm and fuzzy around the edges. “I had the biggest crush on you in high school.”

Tyler grins around the pink plastic spoon in his mouth and she can’t help laughing. “You did?”

“Oh yeah. Basketball star, homecoming king, all-around nice guy, _and_ you were in my AP English class? I had it bad.”

He laughs, his cheeks pink from the compliment or the cool night air, Jenna can’t tell. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because! You were gorgeous and dating Melissa, who was also gorgeous and so sweet, and I was this quiet girl who couldn’t read her essay in front of the class, and what would you ever see in me?” Jenna rolls her eyes, face hot at her rushed confession, and takes another bite of her ice cream. 

Tyler’s watching her, eyes glancing from her own down to her lips and back again, a strange look on his face. “You were beautiful Jenna, you still are. And smart, and kind. And…”

He trails off, eyes glancing down at her lips again, and Jenna’s stomach flip flops in her chest. She’s warm, ice cream sweet and cold on her tongue, and she can feel the blush on her cheeks as he looks over her. This is the moment, isn’t it? It doesn’t feel real, like a dream she’s had since she was thirteen. She can’t help watching him as he leans in, lips growing ever closer to her own, sure that if she blinks it’ll all disappear. His lips are cold when they press against hers, and taste slightly of butterscotch, before they begin to warm between them. 

Jenna presses forward, their bodies flush against each other, ice cream forgotten. She feels it fall from her hands, even has a moment to feel guilty about it, before her arms are wrapping around his neck, pushing up onto the tips of her toes. There’s a clatter, Tyler’s own ice cream cup discarded, before his arms are snaking around her. Warm skin and sinewy muscle, hands dipping under the hem of her shirt, leaving goosebumps on her skin. It’s better than she imagined, better than she dreamed, because it’s real. 

Their lips slot together easily, breaths mingling, as they both deepen the kiss. Jenna feels lightheaded, her heart hammering away in her chest and she can’t get enough. Her hands play with the hair at the base of Tyler’s neck, smiling against his lips as he shivers against her. His mouth is warm, soft, and Jenna feels like she could live like this, the two of them connected, forever. They finally break apart, breathless, and Jenna’s lips chase his, even as he leans back. She opens her eyes and meets his, both of them flushed. 

“We should go back to my place.” She nods briefly, biting her lip, before she pulls him in again, wanting to be closer, _closer_. 

Tyler orders them an Uber. The backseat is cramped but Jenna doesn’t mind. She has to be touching him, skin pressed against skin, and it makes it all the easier. She doesn’t want to be one of these girls, the ones who can’t keep themselves off their dates in the back of a stranger’s car, but she understands the impulse. Tyler’s lips seem impossibly far away, and her heart strains against her ribs, wanting to be near him. Their fingers tangle over the seat, and Jenna holds on to them like a lifeline. 

The ride is miraculously short, and then she’s following Tyler into the elevator, where her misgivings about public displays of affection disappear. They stumble out together, and into Tyler’s front door, laughing breathlessly, lips never parted for long. So this is what it’s like, kissing Tyler Joseph. Jenna suddenly understands why Melissa Loeb never seemed to want to let him go; the feeling is intoxicating, and she never wants it to end. Tyler whispers something about being quiet, his roommate’s home, but then their lips are pressed together again and Jenna forgets how to think. 

His hands slide down her back, sending a shiver up her spine, and then he’s hoisting her up. Jenna squeaks in surprise, wrapping her legs around his waist, as her hands go back to the hair at the nape of his neck. Tyler walks her back into the bed, leaning down until he can deposit her on the comforter below. Her arms slip from his neck as he pulls away, yanking his T-shirt over his head that way boys do, that always seems effortlessly hot. 

Tyler has tattoos of his own, geometric black lines over his chest that make a mesmerizing pattern. Jenna traces her finger over them lazily as he leans back in, and he watches it. “Like them?”

She nods, meeting his eyes. “They’re beautiful.”

He presses his lips against hers again, and they both slide up the bed until they can lay on it fully. His hands slip under her shirt, rucking it up under her armpits, following the fabric with kisses until he can pull it all the way over her head. She watches it drop somewhere over the side of the bed, giggling as his lips pepper kisses over the thin skin of her throat. His hands wander down to the waistband of her jeans, practiced fingers undoing buttons and opening zippers without even looking. It suddenly hits Jenna what’s happening. 

“Tyler?” His lips are still at her throat, her hands buried in his hair, but he stops at her words, leaning back to look at her. 

“Is this okay? Are you okay?” He’s so earnest, his eyes filled with worry, those soft pink lips glistening in the low light. 

She leans forward to kiss him again, slow and purposeful, and he sighs against her lips. “I’m okay. Keep going.”

He smiles before dipping his head to kiss at her collarbone, lips trailing down her skin until his hands are at her jeans again. Jenna lifts her hips as he helps her out of them, peeling them down her legs and throwing them to meet her shirt on the floor. She laughs at his grin, before he kisses his way back up her leg, slowly, as he gets closer to her underwear. They’re simple, white cotton, nothing special. If Jenna had known she’d be sleeping with Tyler Joseph that night she would have thrown on something sexier before leaving the house, but she finds she likes it better this way. It feels more like fate this way. 

Tyler kisses the inside of her thigh, kisses her hip bone, kisses the soft skin in between, before finally moving to place a kiss on the panties themselves, right over where her clit is hidden. Jenna’s whole body shivers at the touch, and her hands immediately bury themselves in his hair. Tyler smiles against her, his hands reaching up to pull down her underwear, eyes shining like a kid unwrapping his present on Christmas morning. She flushes under his attention, goosebumps breaking out over her skin as the cool night air hits her. The discarded underwear joins the pile of Jenna’s clothing on Tyler’s floor, and Jenna’s lip is back between her teeth. 

“God you’re beautiful.” He whispers, and Jenna can’t stop looking at him, all the lust in his eyes as he looks at her, want coursing through her body. 

“Kiss me.” She had meant on the lips, but as Tyler leaned in and placed his lips against her pubic bone, she found that it was an even better choice than she had offered. 

Jenna moaned quietly underneath him, and Tyler seemed to take this as encouragement, his tongue reaching out to lick at her tentatively. Her hands fisted in his hair and Tyler licked again, longer and more strongly this time. Jenna squirmed beneath his ministrations, each lap of his tongue against her folds, ending in her clit, sending small shocks through her. His fingers brushed over her thighs, long and calloused, each touch of rough skin eliciting another shiver. Jenna was forgetting how to think, her body overwhelmed. 

“Tyler.” She was surprised at how desperate her voice already sounded, how badly she wanted him. 

His lips disappeared, and Jenna whimpered at the loss. They pressed against her stomach instead, up her chest, over her breasts, under her chin and up to her lips again. Jenna’s thumbs rubbed over the stubble across his cheeks, fingers hooked under the strong lines of his jaw. Hands were gone from her waist, and Jenna could hear Tyler’s zipper being lowered now, pants shoving down. 

“I’m gonna get a condom.” Jenna nods slightly as he leans back, face still trapped between her hands. 

She lets him go and he disappears over the side of the bed. Arching off the comforter she unhooks her bra, discarding it on the floor with her other clothes, cool air against her nipples making her tremble. When Tyler returns he’s naked, even more beautiful in the pale moonlight trickling through his windows. Jenna wants to cry just looking at him, feeling his hands touch her so tenderly. She watches him roll on the condom, lip trapped between her teeth again, and Tyler’s eyes darken. 

“You have to stop doing that.”

Jenna grins, leaning up on her elbows until she can stare at him under half-lidded eyes. “Why?”

“Because it makes me want to do things to you.”

“So do them.”

Her words seem to light a fire deep inside him. Their bodies are frantic as they come back together, lips pressed against each other, hands scrambling for purchase on soft skin. Jenna hooks her left leg around his hip, as Tyler’s right hand disappears between her thighs, fingers circling her clit as he lines up. He slides in agonizingly slowly, Jenna’s breaths deepening with each additional inch. Tyler covers her face and neck with kisses, her head thrown back and eyes closed, until he bottoms out inside of her. They both moan, and then he’s moving. 

“Harder.” Jenna’s panting, one arm around his neck, keeping his face pressed into her shoulder, the other fist buried in the bedspread beneath them. 

“Jenna.” He punctuates her name with another thrust, dick sliding along her g-spot while his fingers work mercilessly against her clit. 

She cries out and he presses her name into her skin again. “Jenna.” 

They move together, each snap of Tyler’s hips followed by the tightening of Jenna’s leg around him. Her eyes are squeezed shut, head pressed back into the pillows, a steady stream of moans and whimpers leaving her lips. He moves steadily, unendingly, and Jenna whispers his name, pleading, over and over. Each thrust sends another wave of pleasure through her body, her clit oversensitive and her body begging for release. Her nails dig into the skin of his back. 

“Tyler, Tyler I’m—“ But she doesn’t have time to finish, her orgasm crashing over her as her walls clench around him. 

Tyler lets out a strangled moan and stutters on top of her, burying his face in her neck as he comes. Jenna’s hand moves back up to the nape of his neck, blunt nails scraping over the skin there, twisting in the soft brown hair. She feels him whisper her name into her skin as he finishes, both their bodies stilling against each other. They’re both panting, skin flushed and glinting with a sheen of sweat. Jenna can still feel her orgasm rolling through her, like aftershocks, and tightens her grip on the boy above her. He, in turn, goes boneless, sinking in to her as Jenna runs her fingers through his hair. 

“Jesus.” He whispers against her skin, and Jenna can’t help laughing quietly. 

“Yeah.” She whispers, her lips against the soft shell of his ear. 

Slowly Tyler rolls off of her, slipping out from within her. Jenna feels empty without him filling her, already missing his touch, and Tyler seems to magically understand. He removes the condom, tying it off and chucking it into the wastebasket (Jenna’s not surprised that he makes it, effortlessly), before immediately rolling back over. His head lands on her shoulder, arm snaking out across her torso, left leg tangled over her right. He’s heavy, but not overwhelming, pressure comforting rather than suffocating. 

Jenna’s fingers dance over the arm across her chest, fingernails trailing on skin and leaving goosebumps behind. Tyler lifts his head to look at her, and Jenna’s overwhelmed by the affection in his eyes. She smiles at him softly, pressing their lips together in a kiss that’s chaste after their previous activities, and Tyler sighs as he settles against her. The night’s still soft around her, Tyler’s breaths evening out as he gets closer and closer to sleep. 

There’s a part of Jenna that still feels like she’s dreaming, like she’ll wake up tomorrow in her own bed, alone. She glances down at the sleeping boy in her arms, the boy she’s had a crush on since she was thirteen, the boy she could fall in love with so easily. He’s solid and warm against her skin, sighing as she runs the pad of her thumb across his cheek. He feels real. The moment feels real. And Jenna holds on to that with every fiber of her being, before slowly drifting off to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing about the boys as boys. 👀 I know, I’m having an existential crisis about it too. 
> 
> I’ve had this idea for a while and I’m finally kicking the dust off and exploring it. I have it sort of mapped out and sort of not, so I’ll add tags as I go and probably update sporadically. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, what even is sporadically?

“Good morning.”

Jenna jumps about a foot in the air, her hand clutching her chest, as she turns to see where a voice that is definitely not Tyler’s came from. “Jesus Christ.”

“Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” There’s a young man, her and Tyler’s age, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. He’s got a mess of curly, dark hair and looks strangely familiar.

“No, it’s totally fine. I just forgot Tyler had a roommate.” She cocks her head, looking the boy over, and suddenly it comes to her. “I know you. We went to high school together, right?”

“Yeah, Josh. Josh Dun. You’re Jenna Black, right?”

Jenna nods. “Right, Josh. We had biology together. You were at my lab table.”

He nods, smiling, and takes a step into the kitchen so he can look over her shoulder. “What’re you making?”

“Muffins.”

“We don’t have any cook books...” Jenna waves him off with a snort.

“It’s my mom’s recipe; I memorized it a long time ago. She actually learned it in her high school home ec class, funny enough. I figured out in college that they were good for the mornings I was hung over, or after I got high, so I’ve made them a few times.” She chuckles, and Josh’s eyes widen.

“You smoke?”

Jenna laughs again, at his stunned expression. “You sound just like Tyler. I have tattoos and an undercut too.”

“A what?” Jenna lifts her hair again, just like the night before, and spins quickly to show him the shorn back of her head. 

“Woah.” Josh looks almost impressed, but this time it does more to annoy her than stroke her ego. The other boy seems to notice. “Sorry, I just, didn’t expect that from you.”

“That’s because you don’t know anything about me.” It comes out curt, even though Jenna doesn’t mean it to, and she instantly feels bad. Not bad enough to apologize though.

“You’re right.” Josh walks further into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table there. “What should I know?”

“Well,” Jenna turns back to the counter and her half-full muffin tin, hoping to mask her pleased smile. “I’m a school nurse, in Cleveland. I have my master’s degree, and I’m working on my admin credential. I live with my cat, in a studio, ‘cause rent in the city is ridiculous. I have four tattoos, and I’m bi. I like to bake, I do it every Thursday. I have depression and anxiety, and I see a therapist every week. My parents are selling their house, so they can drive around the US in an RV, so I don’t come home as much as I used to. And I drink and smoke pot. Occasionally.”

She turns in time to see Josh smiling at her last statement, before his face changes into something she can’t quite discern. “When did you realize you were bi?”

The air suddenly feels heavy, and Jenna knows this is an important question. She busies herself putting the muffins in the oven and setting the timer as she talks, giving Josh some time to consider her reply. “In college, as cliché as that sounds. I started being more aware of my mental health my senior year, and part of that was looking back at how I’d processed things. I’ve always had some body envy when it came to girls, but I realized that some of it was just plain attraction. I was questioning for about a year, and over that time ‘bi’ just started to feel more and more right. So I came out to my friends and family.”

“How did you know it was attraction?” Josh’s voice is quiet, and she knows there’s a lot of trust in that question.

She turns, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter. “I dunno, it just felt… different. I mean, I realized I wanted to kiss a girl. Just to see what it was like. And then the more I thought about it, and the more I looked back, I realized I’d had crushes on girls and just never knew it. They made me nervous, and I wanted to make them laugh, just like guys, I just didn’t realize that’s what it was. And it got easier to distinguish when I wanted to _be_ someone, and when I wanted to be _with_ someone. Y’know?”

Josh is studying the table, his brow knitted, and Jenna decides to push, just as softly as she can. “Why do you ask?”

“I dunno, I—I dunno.” He won’t meet her eyes, but Jenna smiles anyway, so that when he finally raises his head he’s met with a friendly face.

“That’s okay. I think our generation is really lucky that we get to explore these things a little more openly, and figure out what’s true to us. It’s difficult to do, and it takes a lot of courage, but I think it’s good to really listen to yourself and what you want. I know people talk about labels being the problem, but sometimes they’re the solution too. I found a lot of pride, and reassurance, in labeling myself as bi. It helped me figure out who I was.”

Josh finally turns to look at her, and the hope in his eyes nearly breaks her heart. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” She smiles at him warmly, and is gratified to watch as he slowly returns it.

It’s a surprising conversation, especially between the two of them. She’d had even less interaction with Josh Dun than Tyler Joseph in high school, and honestly Jenna didn’t remember much about him. He’d run in the same circles as Tyler, one of the popular kids, but he’d never had the same universal appeal as the other boy. She could remember him getting in trouble their sophomore year, for a prank gone awry, but was otherwise a bit of a mystery. Jenna was a little shocked he’d have such a frank, and possibly damning, conversation with her, but maybe she wasn’t the only one who’d changed the last ten years. 

“’Morning.” They both turn to find Tyler standing in the doorway, his hair ruffled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning.” Jenna smiles as he makes his way across the kitchen towards her, wrapping his arms around her neck before leaning down for a kiss. “You want some breakfast?”

“Yes, please.” He nods and Jenna laughs, right as the timer goes off.

She pushes him toward the kitchen table, before pulling on a mitt and removing the muffins from the oven. After flipping them over and out of the pan she arranges them on a plate, placing it in front of the boys as she leans in to briefly kiss Tyler on the cheek. “I’m gonna take a quick shower. You guys enjoy.”

As she walks down the hall toward the bathroom she swears she can hear Josh say, “dude, marry her, like tomorrow,” and it makes her smile.

When Jenna walks back into the kitchen, 20 minutes later and fully dressed, Josh and Tyler are still sitting at the table, surrounded by empty muffin wrappers. She finds that she’s not even mad they didn’t leave her one, and instead is just glad they enjoyed them. Bending down she slips her arms over Tyler’s shoulders and across his chest. He reaches up a hand to stroke softly at her forearm, as he turns his head to kiss her. Jenna allows herself to sink in to it for a few minutes, before begrudgingly breaking them apart, and smiling down at him.

“I should get going.”

“You don’t want to stay for lunch?” Tyler gives her a cheeky smile and she laughs, shaking her head sadly.

“I gotta drive back today.” He sticks out his lip in a pout; Jenna leans down again to kiss it away and whisper against his lips. “But thank you for last night.”

“Any time.”

“You guys should call me if you’re ever in Cleveland. I’m happy to offer my couch.” Jenna lifts her head so she can smile at Josh as well, before turning back to Tyler. “I left my number on the nightstand.”

She leans down to kiss him one more time, just in case it’s the last time, before walking over to Josh’s side of the table and kissing him on the cheek. “You can call me anytime too, if you wanna talk about anything. I’m sure Tyler can share.”

Josh gives her a grateful smile, and Jenna feels warm all the way down to her toes. She lets herself out of the apartment, turning one last time to give them a soft “bye boys,” and then she’s gone.

\- - -

A week later her phone rings, an unfamiliar number with a Columbus area code. It’s not Tyler’s number, already stored away with its own emojis and a long line of texts, so she almost ignores it, sure it’s another telemarketer fishing. Instead she shoves it between her cheek and her shoulder after hitting the green “accept” button, hands full. 

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi, Jenna? It’s Josh. Josh Dun? Tyler’s roommate.”

“Hey Josh.” She hopes the smile on her face is audible in her voice. 

“Hey.” Jenna thinks she can hear a relieved sigh. “Do you, uh, have a second to talk?”

“Y’know, I’m currently elbow deep in boo boos—it’s Field Day today—“ Jenna winks at the tiny patient who’s wound she’s carefully cleaning, before continuing. “Can I call you back in a couple hours when I’m off?”

“Oh yeah, sorry, of course. I’ll talk to you then.”

She drops the phone down on the counter, turning back to her small friend. “Okay, now the toughest question of the day, do we need ice too or just a bandaid?”

By the time she gets home Jenna’s nearly forgotten about Josh. Her IEP meeting had run long, there were three missing items from the supply order, and she had spent over thirty minutes on the phone with a parent explaining the district’s lice policy. In all honesty, calling a guy she’d barely known in high school didn’t sound all that appealing, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Tyler. Tyler, who’d not only stayed friends with Josh ten years later, but opted to live with him too. If that was any indication, there had to be something about Josh she’d like as well. 

He picks up on the fourth ring, out of breath. “Hello?”

“Hey Josh, it’s Jenna. Sorry, long, crazy day. What’s up?”

“Oh no worries, I totally get it. Um,” Jenna can practically hear the gears turning in his head, trying to figure out what he wants to say. “I wanted to talk to you. About that thing we talked about before.”

Jenna doesn’t have to ask for clarification. “Sure.”

“I, um, I haven’t really talked about this with anyone. You won’t—“

“Josh, honey,” She interrupts, her voice low and soothing. “Anything we talk about is between you and me. I promise.”

“Okay.” There’s a long sigh, followed by an intake of breath, like he’s trying to gather his courage. “For a while now I’ve been thinking that I’m not, completely… straight.”

“Mhm.” Jenna nods, even though Josh can’t see her. 

“I don’t even know what that means, what I mean, but I just—I dunno. What you said that morning, made a lot of sense and I—I can’t stop thinking about it.” He sounds so hopeless, so lost, and Jenna’s heart aches. 

“Well, I can only tell you my own experience, but it sounds a lot like you’re where I was a few years ago. Are you dating anyone right now?”

“No, not for a while.”

“So you’re in a great position then, to explore a bit. If you want to.” Jenna smiles again, hoping he can hear it. “You could join a dating app, see if anyone comes up that you’d want to go out with. And if not, no harm done.”

“I won’t be, leading anyone on?” Josh’s voice is apprehensive. 

“Not if you’re honest, and up front with people. Most people know what it’s like to be questioning, a lot of us went through it ourselves, so we understand. Just tell people you want to take it slow, and if they can’t respect that they’re not people you want to date anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah okay.” Jenna thinks she can hear a responding smile in his voice, and it lifts her spirits considerably. 

“But hey, you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. There’s no timeline with this stuff, you don’t have to come out to everyone that you’re questioning, just do what feels right for you.”

“Thanks.” The word is soft, and Jenna wishes she could hug him through the phone. 

“And you can call or text me anytime. I’m really... honored, that you’re sharing this with me. Especially considering I’m pretty much a stranger.” Jenna chuckles and Josh does the same. 

“Honestly, you living in another city and not knowing any of our friends kind of made you the perfect choice.” Jenna bursts out laughing, glad for his frankness. “But it was also that Tyler wouldn’t shut up about how great you are.”

Jenna’s cheeks darken in a blush, and she’s glad Josh can’t see how transparent she is. “Are you guys dating or…?”

Josh’s words trail off, and Jenna realizes she’s not entirely sure what to tell him. “Oh I don’t know. He lives in Columbus, I live in Cleveland. I don’t think I’m the kind of girl that can make long distance work. But I like him, and the next time I’m in town I’d like to see him again.”

Josh laughs. “I’m pretty sure he’d like to see you again too.”

“Good, cause I don’t know how much longer my parents’ couch is going to be an option.” They both share a laugh, and Jenna decides she already likes Josh Dun. 

“Well, I should let you go. You sound exhausted.” He’s blunt, but kind, and Jenna appreciates it. 

“Ha ha, thanks.” He laughs and she finds herself grinning again. “But really, it was nice talking to you Josh. Call or text anytime.”

“I will. ‘Night Jenna.”

“G’night Josh.” When they hang up Jenna’s left with a smile on her face that lasts the rest of the night. 

\- - -

At the end of October Jenna’s mom calls her with excitement in her voice, announcing to her somewhat incredulous daughter that an offer has been made on the house. Jenna’s not sure how she feels about the whole thing, and doesn’t have much time to consider it, when her mom asks her to come home for the weekend and help them pack things up. Apparently it’s an “all hands on deck” situation, and while Jenna looks forward to seeing her siblings, the idea of packing up her childhood home is daunting. After assuring her mom she’ll be there her next text is to Tyler. They’re texting almost daily now, Josh too, and Jenna doesn’t feel quite so much like she’d be taking advantage. 

Tyler greets her at the door Friday night, freshly showered and smelling like aftershave. Jenna had forgotten just how handsome he was, how just a smile from him makes her stomach flip. She drops her bag on the floor, wrapping her arms around his neck, and sinks into him. His hands go to her hair, tangling up in the golden strands as he breathes her name into her skin. Jenna shivers underneath him, pulling back until she can press her lips to his. She almost loses herself to the kiss, finds her hands reaching for the waistband of his jeans when Tyler pulls back. 

“Josh is here.” He’s breathless, blushing, and Jenna laughs. 

“Oh goodie.” She immediately drops her arms from around him, pushing him out of the way so that she can enter the apartment, already looking for the other boy. 

“Okay, ouch.” They both laugh as Jenna ducks into the kitchen, where she finally finds Josh. 

“Hey.” Her voice is small, suddenly unsure. They’ve been texting and sharing the occasional phone call for the last couple months, but Jenna suddenly worries that their budding friendship won’t translate without a phone between them. 

She needn’t have though. 

Josh turns and catches sight of her, a huge grin lighting up his face. “Jenna.”

He scoops her up in his arms, pulling her on to the very tips of her toes. Jenna can’t help laughing as her arms go around his neck, hands fisting in his soft blue hoodie. It’s as good a welcome as she could hope for, and Jenna feels a rush of affection for the other boy. He looks good, happy, and Jenna can’t wait to hear everything about how he’s been. She catches sight of Tyler watching them, leaning against the doorframe leading into the kitchen. There’s a soft smile on his face, his hands jammed into the pockets of his jeans, and Jenna can’t help smiling at him in return. 

“So what are you two up to tonight?” He ambles into the kitchen as Josh releases her, leaning over to place a quick kiss on her cheek before continuing to the kitchen table. 

Jenna rests a hand on the back of his chair, leaning into him as Josh takes a seat on the opposite side of the table. “Talking shit about you, mostly.”

Josh laughs and Tyler grins, nodding his head. “Sure, makes sense.”

He turns to look up at her, head tipping to rest on her hand briefly. “Sorry I couldn’t take you out tonight. My mom insisted.”

“It’s fine, Ty.” She smiles down at him before turning to Josh and winking at him. “Besides, I’m sure Josh and I can find a way to entertain ourselves. Right?”

Josh winks back at her and Tyler groans. “I don’t even want to know what you two are going to get up to. Just, leave the apartment in one piece okay?”

Jenna nods at him solemnly as he rises from the table, grabbing his jacket off the back of the chair. He leans down to kiss her, something soft and chaste in front of Josh, and Jenna cups his cheek. They share a whispered “bye” against each other’s lips, before Tyler leans back and waves a quick goodbye to Josh as well. Jenna watches him leave the room, enjoying the view, and waits until the door latches behind him before speaking. 

“I have a surprise for you.” Josh’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Jenna holds up a finger. “Wait here one sec.”

She disappears back into the living room, where Tyler’s deposited her bag on the couch. It doesn’t take her much digging to find the ziploc bag, it’s contents clacking together as she pulls it from the depths of her clothes. Just looking at it sends a thrill through her, and she hopes this won’t be an overstep. She’d had the idea ever since Josh had mentioned it, and been too excited to consider that he might not be on board. Time to find out. 

Josh is still seated at the kitchen table, body turned, waiting for her return. Jenna pulls the bag out from behind her back, and watches as it takes Josh a second to recognize its contents. The colorful bottles of nail polish clatter against each other at her quick movement, and Jenna pulls the bag into both hands where she can cradle them. Josh looks apprehensive, but not at all disgusted at their appearance. 

“We don’t have to do anything, but I’ve been thinking about this since we talked about you wanting to change your appearance a bit. I know it was kind of low on your list, but it’s a lot less permanent than dying your hair.” Josh is looking over the bag, and Jenna bites her lip before continuing. “What do you think?”

“I… don’t hate the idea.” His face starts to soften and Jenna holds her breath. “I think I want to. Yeah. Fuck it.”

Jenna does a little, excited bounce and Josh watches her, laughing. She deposits the bag on the table, taking Tyler’s abandoned seat. “Okay, I brought a bunch of colors, ‘cause I wasn’t sure how wild you wanted to go. There’s black and white too, if you wanna keep it really simple.”

She watches as he pulls the bag closer, hands digging in. He’s cautious at first, like just touching them is some kind of offense, but Jenna watches as that starts to change. Fingers pause over certain bottles, hand closing over them like he’s feeling out the weight of them, before continuing on. He passes over the pink quickly, and Jenna’s not surprised. When josh had told her one night that he wanted to play with his look a bit it had felt like a long-held confession. She had a feeling he wouldn’t be quite ready to jump in both feet first. 

Finally his hands seem to slow, landing on a bottle of deep navy Jenna had bought for a wedding weekend a few years ago. Josh pulls it from the bag, looking it over in his hand, before his fingers clench around it. He lifts his head to look at her, a soft smile on his face, and Jenna returns it easily. She couldn’t remember what she’d thought of Josh in high school, if he’d been another stuck up jock, or just a faceless popular kid, but in that moment she couldn’t help the love she felt for him. He was so vulnerable, trusting her to help him figure out the shape of who he was. 

“That the one?” He nods, handing it to her, and Jenna places it down on the table. “Okay cool, I’m just gonna grab some supplies. If we’re gonna do this we’re gonna do it right.”

She winks at him again and he laughs, his cheeks warmed with a blush. Jenna dips back into the living room first, grabbing her manicure kit from her bag, before returning to the kitchen. It only takes her two tries to find the right cabinet, pulling out a bowl and filling it with warm, soapy water. She puts Josh to work soaking his fingernails while she collects the rest, laying out a kitchen towel over the table before reaching for his first hand. 

“Do girls just inherently know how to do this?” Josh’s smile is cheeky and Jenna gives it right back to him. 

“Do boys just inherently know how to shotgun a beer?”

“Fair.” 

Jenna smiles, letting him know it’s all in jest. “My mom taught me. She used to do this for my sisters and I when we were younger. Not a lot of disposable income to be wasted on things like manicures, so my mom tried to do the next best thing. I can’t make you a flower or anything, but I can shape and paint them.”

Josh’s hands slowly start to relax in hers, the more they talk. He fills her in on work, his family, and even Tyler. Apparently the kid Tyler’s mentioned once or twice has been more of a challenge than he’s told Jenna, and she makes a mental note to ask him about it. There’s no disconnect between their conversation and the ones they’ve shared on the phone, much to Jenna’s relief. There’d been a part of her that had worried she’d made more out of their growing friendship than Josh had, and she was glad to find that wasn’t the case. 

“Have you told Tyler, about how you’ve been feeling?” She waits until she’s putting on his first coat of polish to ask, her eyes focused on her work, giving him some semblance of privacy. 

“Yeah, a little. Just that I was thinking about things and dating different people, and I didn’t want him to be surprised or… disgusted.” The last word is soft, barely audible, and Jenna knows it’s Tyler’s reaction that Josh fears above all others. 

“What did he say?”

“That he didn’t care who I brought home, as long as I didn’t wake the whole building. And that he didn’t care who I loved, as long as they didn’t break my heart.” Josh’s voice cracks at the last word, and Jenna raises her head to find tears in his eyes. 

She can’t help the ones that spring to her eyes in turn, as Josh smiles at her softly. It’s a smile full of hope and joy, and it warms Jenna’s entire body. If she didn’t have a bottle of nail polish in her hand she would have hugged him right then and there. Instead she gives his fingers a small squeeze, trying to avoid the fresh polish. He laughs wetly, bringing up the back of his hand to swipe at his cheeks, and smiles down at the polish. 

“I like it. What do you think?”

“I like it too, babe.”

Jenna’s already in bed by the time Tyler gets home, slipping in between the sheets to curl up behind her. His arm settles across her stomach, chin resting on her shoulder, and Jenna sighs against him. She rolls over slowly, careful not to jostle him too much, until they’re face to face. He watches her as she lifts a hand to his face, cradling his cheek as he leans into her touch. Jenna rubs the pad of her thumb over the stubbled skin, smoothing out the wrinkles of his small smile. 

“You’re a good man, Tyler Joseph.” She whispers into the darkened room. 

His eyes soften, filled with a tenderness that makes her want to cry. “Coming from you, Jenna Black, that means everything.”


	3. Chapter 3

On Sunday morning Tyler takes her out for pancakes. Jenna’s exhausted, and her whole body aches, but he insists. They slide into opposite sides of the booth, vinyl menus sticking to the Formica table top, and Jenna tries to keep the frown off her face. They’ve both been so hospitable, letting her come and go from the apartment as she pleases, putting her up for the weekend, that she feels bad being anything other than grateful. Tyler seems to catch on regardless, looking at her over the top of his menu. 

“I promise, the pancakes are worth it.” Jenna gives him a weak smile in response, following his lead when it’s finally time to order. 

After her first bite she wants to punch him. The pancakes are light and fluffy, with just the right amount of crunch around the edges. She literally moans around her fork at the first bite, and Tyler laughs. He’s nice enough not to hit her with an “I told you so” but Jenna feels rueful anyway. He watches as she slathers them in maple syrup, each sugary bite disappearing more quickly than the last, and can’t seem to keep the smile off his face. Jenna catches sight of him and blushes. 

“Sorry.” She dabs at her face with her napkin delicately, trying to hold on to some semblance of her dignity. “These are really good. And I didn’t realize I was starving.”

He laughs. “It’s fine, Jen. Glad you didn’t take too much convincing. I was a little worried when I woke up this morning and you were still asleep.”

Jenna rolls her eyes and he chuckles, shoving his own bite of pancake in his mouth. “I didn’t leave my parents’ until like midnight last night. Mom got into the photo albums and totally lost focus.”

“How’s that going, by the way?”

“Weird.” She cocks her head, trying to find words for how she feels. “I’m sad about it, but I’m happy for them too? They’ve been wanting to do this for a while, and they don’t need all that house with us gone, so it’s good. But thinking about someone else sleeping in my bedroom, or playing in my backyard is… rough.”

“Yeah. Guess I’m lucky my parents haven’t sold theirs yet. Probably helps that Jay still lives there part time.”

“Jay’s your younger brother, right?” Jenna could remember that Tyler had siblings, a couple of them had even gone to school at the same time as them, but little else. 

“Yep. Jay’s the baby, then Maddy, and Zach. Zach’s got some girlfriend he’s probably going to propose to soon, so I don’t see him much. Maddy’s doing her own thing too. Jay’s the only one I see regularly, usually when he comes home on weekends to do his laundry.”

Jenna laughs and motions with her fork. “Ah, college.”

“Exactly.” He laughs, before growing quiet, a small smile on his face. “I’m glad you asked to stay with us. It’s been nice having you there.”

“Thanks. It’s been nice being here.” Jenna’s hand reaches out for his, their fingers lacing together, and feels that familiar thrill every time Tyler touches her. 

Tyler glances down at their hands, and Jenna watches his smile change. “I saw Josh’s fingernails.”

Jenna nods slowly, wondering what’s coming next. “What do you think?”

“I think they look good.” Jenna tries not to let out an audible sigh of relief, and Tyler plays with their hands, unaware. “He seems happier lately, more… comfortable, in his own skin. He must have been holding on to that for a really long time.”

Jenna watches as his face tightens, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. “How did I not know, Jen? How did I not know that my best friend was so unhappy? Why didn’t he share that with me?”

Jenna reaches out until she can cover his hand with both of hers, thumbs rubbing over the tanned skin softly. “Sometimes, telling the people we love the most, the people we know would support us through anything, is the scariest part. Because there’s always that voice in the back of our heads, telling us we’re unlovable, assuring us that this will be the last straw. And even if we don’t always believe it, even if we _know_ it’s lying, it takes a lot to ignore that voice.”

Tyler sniffles, swiping at his tears with his free hand, and smiles at her. “I’m glad he has you, Jenna.”

She lifts his hand to her lips, placing a soft kiss over the calloused, cracked knuckles. “I’m glad he has you too, Tyler.”

Tyler holds her hand the whole ride home, and Jenna can’t stop glancing down at their tangled fingers. When they were younger, just kids really, Jenna had dreamed about a moment like this. She had lost sleep most nights, wondering what it would feel like to know that Tyler Joseph wanted her, that he cared for her, that he felt the same way she did. There was a part of her that worried she was too enamoured of that dream, that she’d forsake the real thing for the man she’d imagined. But the reality was so much better than she’d ever expected, and Jenna found herself feeling humbled at the blessing she’d been given. 

She’s an hour late to her parents’ house, mostly because they get lost in bed, but also because Jenna just wasn’t ready to let Tyler go. It’s infinitely harder the second time around, and even though she knows she’s doing the right thing in keeping this casual, it breaks her heart to say goodbye. Tyler rests his lips against her hair, whispering that she better come back soon, and Jenna tries not to cry. She cradles his face between her hands, taking one long, last look into those endless brown eyes and tells him she’ll miss him. It's, by far, the biggest understatement of the year. 

\- - -

In December, a couple weeks before her Christmas break, Josh comes to visit. He’s the first friend from home to set foot in her apartment, and Jenna finds herself frantic trying to make sure everything is perfect. Clementine, her orange tabby, spends much of the preceding week hiding under the artificial Christmas tree, never a fan of the vacuum or Jenna’s continuous movement. By the time Friday finally arrives the studio is a picture-perfect Christmas dream, and Jenna can’t wait for him to see it. Tyler’s lack of enthusiasm for the holiday nearly rivaled Josh’s overabundance, and Jenna was just glad one of them appreciated it like she did. 

Josh is all smiles at her front door, his cheeks with a healthy plumpness, and his hair— “Oh my god your hair!”

His fingers twist in the light blue strands softly, his face apprehensive. “Do you like it?”

“I love it.” Jenna throws her arms around him, laughing, and Josh pulls her in close. 

She has a moment to miss Tyler, wishing both her boys were in her arms, but it’s fleeting. Josh smells like home, in a way she can’t quite describe, and Jenna buries her face in his shoulder. They don’t move for a few moments, both of them soaking each other up. Jenna suddenly realizes they’re standing in the open doorway and leans back, gesturing for Josh to come in. He’s barely two steps inside the apartment before Clementine is wrapping herself around his legs, purring. Josh scoops her up easily, the tabby rubbing her face against the stubble on his chin. 

“Clearly Clem feels the same way.” Jenna laughs, rubbing behind the cats ears softly after closing the door.

“What a baby.” Josh coos at the cat, placing a little kiss on her forehead and Clementine preens at his attention. Jenna smiles at them both fondly. 

“Can I get you anything to drink? How was the drive?” She turns to grab a cup from the cabinet but Josh stops her with an outstretched hand. 

“I’m good, Jen. We’re good, don’t worry.” He glances between her and the cat, smiling at them both. It’s like having sunshine standing in her kitchen. 

Jenna can’t help herself, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, as she leans over to press a kiss into his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” He grins at her, before finally turning to take in the whole apartment. 

The tree’s the most striking part, covered in twinkling white lights and her mother’s glass icicle ornaments. Jenna’s favorite part, however, are the stockings under the two window sills at the back of the apartment. The first has a regular sized stocking, with her name embroidered across the top, next to a smaller stocking bearing Clem’s name. Under the other window sill are two stockings matching hers, but embroidered with each of the boys’ names. Josh catches sight of them, running the fingers of his free hand over his name, the other hand still clutching Clementine to his chest. He looks up at her, eyes shining. 

“Did you make these?”

Jenna smiles at him proudly. “To be completely transparent, I bought the stockings at Target, but I did embroider the names. Don’t look too closely at mine though, it was the first one I did and the stitches are _very_ wonky.”

He laughs, tracing his and Tyler’s names with his finger. “You made one for both of us.”

“Of course. You’re both my boys.”

He turns to face her, a shy smile on his face, and Jenna can’t help herself. Clementine gets sandwiched between them as she throws her arms around him again, pulling him close. Josh’s free arm goes around her back, and Jenna settles into the warmth of his chest. After a few minutes Clem starts to meow plaintively, and Jenna leans back, releasing her from between them. 

“How does mac and cheese grab you for dinner? I figured you needed something warm and comforting before you get stuck with a needle repeatedly tomorrow.”

Josh places the orange tabby on the ground, grinning at her receding form as Jenna enters the kitchen and starts removing things from the cabinet. “Sounds perfect.”

After dinner they settle onto the couch, Jenna with a glass of wine and Josh with a beer. Clementine immediately stakes her claim on Josh’s lap, and Jenna can’t help feeling pleased at how much the cat is already attached to him. (She understands the feeling.) They sit with their backs against opposite arms of the sofa, facing each other, and Jenna tucks her toes under Josh’s legs. He’s always warm, even in the December cold, and far more comfortable than a blanket. Josh reaches down to tickle her ankle, laughing as she kicks at him softly, before her feet disappear under him again. 

“So how’s dating going?” Jenna takes a sip of her wine, eyebrow cocked over the rim of her glass. 

Josh shrugs, his free hand scratching lightly behind Clem’s ears. “Fine, I guess.”

“Meet anyone special?” Jenna’s voice sing songs at the end, poking him with a toe playfully. 

He wriggles away from her, laughing, a light blush dusting his cheeks. “No, not yet. Some nice enough guys but no one I’ve wanted a second date with. And no one I’ve wanted to sleep with.”

Jenna rolls her eyes. “Picky, picky.”

Josh goes for her ankles again as he speaks, and Jenna squirms, laughing. “Not all of us get to have casual sex with our high school crush, okay?”

“He is not my high school crush!” Jenna’s voice is high and filled with mirth as she tries to escape his clutches. 

“Oh yes he is. Tyler told me.” Josh shifts on the couch, leaning forward so he can tickle her further, and Clem jumps down from his lap with a mournful meow. 

“Traitor!” She shrieks, laughing and breathless as he covers her with his body, hands tickling at her sides until she’s writhing, trying to escape. 

Their eyes meet and Josh suddenly stops, a strange look on his face. Jenna’s panting, her face and torso flushed, and she stares at him as a hand slowly comes up to cup her cheek. Josh’s hand feels different on her skin, not as calloused as Tyler’s, the pads of his fingers soft over her cheek bones. He’s flushed too, for an entirely different reason, when she realizes his dick is hard against her thigh. She nearly gasps at the strength of the _want_ that courses through her body at the realization, already feeling herself grow wet at the thought. 

Josh seems to register what’s happening, how long they’ve been staring at each other, and he goes to lean back. Jenna’s hands are in his T-shirt almost immediately, unwilling to let him go. His breaths ghost over her lips, close enough that she could lean forward and press them against his. Josh stills under her hands, no longer pulling away, but not moving any closer either. It doesn’t take her long to decide what she wants. 

“Kiss me.” Her voice is low, eyes glancing down to his lips and back again. 

“Are you sure?” His lips are so pink, so full, freckles scattered over his nose. 

She nods slowly, slightly, hands still buried in his T-shirt. “Please kiss me, Josh.”

He leans forward so slowly that Jenna fears it’ll never come, that she’ll be left there, burning, for eternity. When his lips finally meet hers they’re soft, so much more cautious than Tyler’s, and Jenna feels a shiver go down her whole body. Her hands slide from his shirt and up to his neck, cupping below his jaw carefully as she pulls him in closer. The kiss deepens, both of them breathing in sharply, and Jenna pulls at him again softly, until his body is flush against hers. 

Josh’s arms slide around her back, cradling her beneath him. Jenna bends one of her knees until Josh can settle in perfectly between her legs, his cock pressed up against her groin with only a few layers of clothing between them. Her hips move of their own accord, grinding against him, and Josh moans into her mouth. Jenna hooks her heel over his leg, and this time it’s Josh who grinds in to her. She lets out a soft cry and their lips break apart. 

“Jenna.” Her name is whispered over his lips, breathless. 

“Bed.” It’s the only thing she can think to answer, her body already hot and aching beneath him. 

“Are you sure? I—“

“Josh, please. Please fuck me.” She feels deliciously filthy just saying it, catching his lip between her teeth as she leans forward to kiss him again. 

Josh pulls her up from the couch and Jenna wraps her legs around his waist instinctively. Her arms go around his neck as he lifts them both, taking only the few steps he needs to deposit them on the bed. Jenna pushes herself up toward the pillows, Josh crawling along on top of her, their lips never parted for long. When she settles, and he lays himself back on top of her, Jenna rolls quickly, putting herself on top. Her legs bracket around his waist and Jenna pushes back, her hands on his chest so she can look at him. 

Josh’ neck and face are flushed, lips swollen and glistening. He looks properly blissed out and they haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet. Jenna slides down a bit, coming to rest over his thighs, her hands going for the waistband of his jeans. Josh watches as she undoes the button, breath hitching in his throat as she pulls the zipper down, slowly. There’s a large bulge under his boxers, once she can finally see them, and Jenna smiles at it appreciatively. 

“Jenna.” It’s a whine, high and desperate, and Jenna ignores him, going as slow as she pleases. 

She lowers her head, lips ghosting over the fabric, breath hot against his skin. Josh whimpers and Jenna smiles against him, before slowly peeling back the elastic of his boxers. His dick springs free from the fabric, red and throbbing. It’s longer than Tyler’s, slightly thinner, and Jenna wants to lick it like a popsicle. Precum’s already beading at the tip, and Jenna feels a rush of pride that he’s already this turned on when she hasn’t even touched him yet. She wonders how long he’s been thinking about this too. 

“Jenna.” He’s even more desperate this time. 

“I know, I’m being very mean. But you’re so pretty, Josh.” He turns a deep scarlet at the word and Jenna watches hungrily. “You like it when I call you pretty, don’t you?”

Josh nods his head slowly, and Jenna smiles as she lowers her lips. “So pretty.”

The first lick is small, just over the head and across the slit. Josh’s whole body shivers and Jenna wraps a hand around the base carefully. Her second is longer, the entire length of him, and Josh groans loudly. She smirks as she continues, long licks up the underside, across the top, and over the sides. When she finally pulls the head into her mouth, sucking at it softly he cries out, and Jenna smiles devilishly. 

“Jenna.” It’s a caution this time and Jenna backs off, not ready for their fun to be over. She meant what she said on the couch. 

“Take your clothes off.” Josh scrambles to obey as she lifts herself off the bed. 

After digging through her nightstand for a condom Jenna follows suit: pants and underwear, shirt and bra joining the pile on the floor. Josh watches her as she climbs back on top of him, eyes dark and hungry. Jenna rolls the condom down with practiced hands, bringing her fingers to her mouth to suck them clean before continuing. She takes him in hand, lining up momentarily, before sinking down on to him slowly. Her eyes flutter shut, mouth open in a moan, and Jenna relishes the deliciousness of it all. 

When she’s flush against him Josh lets out a moan of his own, that deepens as Jenna begins to move. She’s slow to start, trying to draw it out as much as possible, but as her movements quicken Josh’s hands dig into her hips, egging her on. Before long they’re both panting, Jenna’s hands on Josh’s chest, her nails digging into the skin there. Without any warning Josh rolls until she’s beneath him, pulling a leg up around his waist and thrusting into her. 

Jenna cries out, hands fisting in the bedspread, and throws her head back. His lips go to her neck, biting, kissing, and sucking at it softly. In the back of her mind she knows she’ll have marks tomorrow, but Jenna can’t seem to care. All she can think about is Josh thrusting into her, each wonderful snap of his hips. She lifts his face until she can kiss him, fingers buried in soft, blue curls as she nips at his lips. 

“Harder. Fuck me harder, Josh.”

He does as he’s told, fingers pressed into the flesh of her thigh where he holds it around his hip, tightening with each thrust. Jenna covers his face in kisses, pausing only to moan softly when his dick hits just right, that feeling building in the pit of her stomach. She’s so close and she knows Josh must be as well, his breaths shallow and his face flushed. 

“I’m so close. Come for me, beautiful boy.”

Josh cries out, slamming into her one last time as he comes, and it’s enough to send Jenna over the edge. Her fingers tighten in his hair, face buried in her neck, and they both tremble together, panting. Josh slowly lets go of her knee, and Jenna lets it fall to the mattress as his other hand comes up to cradle her head. Jenna pulls him against her softly and Josh lets himself fall, resting on top of her. She rolls them slowly until they’re on their sides, facing each other. 

Jenna strokes his face lovingly, brushing sweaty curls from his brow. Josh opens his eyes slowly to look at her, and Jenna smiles at him fondly. He’s beautiful like this, laid bare before her. Jenna thinks about all the trust he’s put in her the last few months, how much she’s come to love and care for him. She can feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, and Josh swipes at them softly. 

“You okay?” His voice is apprehensive, and Jenna rushes to reassure him. 

“I’m fine. I’m just—a little overwhelmed.” Her voice wavers a bit at the end and Josh is quick to wrap his arms around her. 

“Hey, hey, shh.” Jenna tucks her head against his shoulder and under his chin, as Josh’s hand comes up to run through her hair. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.”

Jenna focuses on the movement of his hand, soft strokes from the crown over her head down to her shoulders. She loses track of time until Josh’s voice comes out of the growing darkness, small and scared. “Do you think it was a mistake?”

“No, no. Josh, no.” She lifts her head until she can catch his eyes, finding tears growing there. Jenna wipes them away with the pad of her thumb, lingering over the freckles sprinkled over his cheeks. “It wasn’t a mistake.”

“But Tyler—“

“I care about Tyler too, but we’re _not_ together. We’ve always said it was casual, that it was too hard to be long distance. You didn’t do anything wrong, Josh. Neither of us did.”

Josh doesn’t look convinced, and Jenna presses a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’ll talk to him, okay?”

Josh leans his forehead against hers, nodding slowly, and Jenna’s heart aches. Both of her beautiful boys, so different but so alike, making her feel safe and loved. Jenna can’t imagine a life without them both in it, doesn’t want to think about giving one up for the other. It’s selfish of her, she knows, but Jenna wants them both, _needs_ them both. Somehow, with the two of them, she feels whole. 

She knows they should get up, clean themselves off before they fall asleep, but Jenna’s not ready to leave Josh’s arms. Outside the sky is dark, snowflakes fluttering against the window panes, but Jenna is warm and content, both of them bathed in the soft light of the Christmas tree. Josh’s breaths tickle against her nose and Jenna smiles at him, fingers brushing over his cheeks. He truly is so beautiful. 


	4. Chapter 4

Jenna wakes up warm, Josh pressed up against her back and snoring softly. His arms are trapped between them and Jenna reaches for one, pulling it slowly across her middle. Josh shifts behind her but doesn’t wake, pulling her tightly against his chest, hand slipping under her breast. Jenna smiles down at the offending hand, laughing softly, but freezes when Josh starts to move again. 

“Mmm, Jen?” His voice crackles like a cold radio. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Jenna feels him push his face into her back, shaking his head softly, his breath tickling down her spine. 

“You smell nice.” He mumbles it against her skin, making her shiver. 

“If you use my body wash you’ll smell nice too.”

“Are you saying I need a shower?” The head lifts from her back, and Jenna glances over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of his frowning face. 

“Never, darling. I love that stinky, unwashed boy smell.” She grins at him and he laughs. 

“Rude.” He whispers it over her skin, a small kiss at the back of her neck following it. 

Jenna strokes his arm absentmindedly, where it’s wound around her body. “Is this where it’s gonna go?”

Josh feels her fingers trail over his forearm, nodding against her shoulder. “Mhmm.”

“Something big and colorful?”

“Big, colorful and full of life.” He places a kiss under her earlobe, pulling her closer. 

“I love that for you, babe.”

“Me too.”

She makes him eggs and bacon for breakfast, something hearty to keep him going throughout the session. He grins when she tells him to drink plenty of water and take breaks, muttering “yes mom” before giving her a kiss on the cheek. Jenna asks him again if he wants her to come, whether to hold his hand or marvel at what a badass he is, she’ll never tell. But Josh declines again, saying it’s something he wants to do by himself. Jenna understands. 

The apartment seems empty without him in it, and Jenna lets herself have a moment to hold Clem to her chest and miss him. She can’t deny that she’s a little anxious too, her heartbeat beginning to quicken. Even with the arrangement she and Tyler had worked out, even with the understanding that they’d see (and sleep) with other people, it was quite another thing to sleep with his best friend. 

Still, Jenna couldn’t think of her night with Josh as a mistake. She cared for him just as much as she cared for Tyler, desired his touch just as strongly. They’d both been her lifeline the last few months, making her laugh, supporting her, giving her a place to call home when the only home she’d ever had had disappeared. If she was honest with herself, she loved them both, was probably _in_ love with them both, but that was too scary of a thought. 

She runs a quick hand through her hair before FaceTiming Tyler. He picks up after the first couple rings. “G’morning beautiful.”

His face shines in a smile, and Jenna feels that familiar pang in her chest. “Morning.”

“Where’s Josh? He go to his appointment already?” Tyler looks over her shoulders and behind her, trying to find the other boy. 

“Yeah, left a few minutes ago. He’s very excited.” She grins and Tyler mirrors her. 

“I’m excited for him.”

“Me too.” Jenna feels her cheeks turn pink. 

“You call just to see my handsome face? It’s okay, you can admit it.” He winks at her boldly and Jenna laughs. 

“I mean, obviously. But I also need to talk to you about something.” Jenna rolls her eyes, before her face grows serious. 

“Oh, okay.” Tyler stops moving, and Jenna watches him sink into one of the familiar chairs at the kitchen table. 

“It’s nothing bad—“ She holds up a hand, already guessing where his mind could be roaming. “Just something I want to be honest with you about.”

Tyler seems to relax a bit, before nodding, and Jenna continues. “Josh and I slept together last night.”

“Oh.” The word is small, not altogether sad, but slightly shocked. 

“I know you and I have always said this was casual, that we’d see other people, and we’ve never discussed those other people. But it didn’t feel right not to tell you, knowing how close you and Josh are.”

“No, I—I appreciate you telling me.” Jenna watches his face change, his eyes turning pensive, lips quirked toward a frown. 

“Is this okay?”

Tyler lets out a sigh. “Of course it is Jenna, we said this was casual, you don’t owe me any—“

“Tyler. I’m not asking if it’s logically okay, and you know it.” She sighs, her head cocking as she looks him over, trying to gauge his reaction. “I’m asking if this is _okay._ If the three of us can still be us. Even if I didn’t want it to be a one time thing with him.”

He’s quiet, glancing down at his lap. Jenna doesn’t push, doesn’t ask what he’s thinking, just waits. There’s a part of her that wants to apologize, even if she’s not truly sorry. It feels like the only way to smooth things over, a big “just kidding, I’ll never do it again” and it would all be fine. But she doesn’t want that, not really, and so she makes herself sit quietly and wait. Wait to see if she can have everything she’s ever wanted. 

Tyler finally looks at her again, and she watches his eyes soften. “Of course we can, Jen.”

He chuckles as tears spring to her eyes. “If I have to share you with anyone, I can share you with Josh.”

“Tyler—“ But her voice catches in her throat, tears heavy on her cheeks and she can’t speak. 

“Hey, no, don’t cry. Jen stop, you can’t make me watch you cry over the phone when I can’t do anything!” His voice is high and desperate, truly distraught, and Jenna can’t help laughing. 

She swipes at her cheeks quickly and a smile breaks out over Tyler’s face. “Okay, better. Thank you. If you’re gonna cry you have to come to Columbus, that’s the rule.”

Jenna laughs again, thickly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Tyler watches her as she composes herself, tenderness in his eyes. It makes it difficult to not start crying again. “You’re really okay with this?”

“I mean, it’s a little weird, but yes?” Tyler lets out a breath, leaning forward to place his chin on his hand, elbow against the tabletop. “Josh is one of my oldest friends, and I love the guy. So I get it. We’ve never been with the same girl before, but I don’t see why we couldn’t make it work. I won’t deny I’m probably going to get a little jealous at times—“

Jenna cuts him off, pointing at him through the screen. “At which point you need to tell me, not stew in it.”

Tyler nods solemnly, before continuing. “But having you in my life, in whatever capacity, is better than not having you at all, Jen.”

“New rule, if I’m only allowed to cry in Columbus you can’t make me cry when I’m in Cleveland.” Tears burn at the corners of her eyes again. 

“That’s fair. Sorry.” Tyler grins at her and Jenna laughs wetly. “Did I tell you about the broccoli I managed to burn last night?”

By the time Josh returns from his appointment Jenna feels infinitely better. Clem winds around his ankles again as Jenna lets him in, and Josh scoops her up once more, ignoring a wince as she settles over his arm. His cheeks are pink from the cold, snowflakes melting into his icy blue hair, and Jenna’s struck again by how lucky she is. Not only to have two wonderful boys who care about her, but to count them as two of her closest friends. 

“So, can I see?” Jenna picks at the fabric of his jacket delicately, where she knows the tattoo is hiding underneath. 

Josh laughs and pulls his phone out of his pocket, checking the time. “Yeah, I should probably clean it off anyway, so you can have the first look.”

“Goodie.” Jenna claps her hands together like an overexcited child and Clementine meows at her reproachfully. “Oh hush Clem, I’m allowed to be excited.”

Josh laughs as he lets the orange tabby down, pulling off his jacket and laying it across the back of the couch. Jenna follows him into the bathroom, watching as he rolls up the sleeve of his flannel shirt. The tattoo is covered in gauze, wrapped with black self-adhesive tape. Josh unwraps it slowly, careful not to pull at the skin or hair of his arm. Jenna can’t help the little gasp that escapes as the design is suddenly revealed, and Josh turns to watch her. 

A tree grows over Josh’s forearm, roots twisting down at his wrist, and branches erupting in leaves at his elbow. Crystal blue water and a sunset sky fill the remaining space, a riot of color where there once was none. Jenna reaches out with a finger, wanting to trace the wood from the roots all the way to the branches but stops herself. The last thing Josh needs is her rubbing her grubby fingers all over his fresh tattoo. 

Instead she takes his arm softly, holding it by the unmarked skin and turning it slowly so she can see every angle. Josh eyes her apprehensively. “What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful, J.” Jenna’s too focused on the tattoo to notice how Josh’s face softens as he looks down at her, before placing a kiss against the top of her head. 

“Thanks Jenna.” 

She releases his arm, smiling, and Josh goes to work cleaning it off. Jenna helps him pat it dry, holding on to his arm a little bit longer than she needs to, but neither of them seem to notice. Josh is pliant beneath her warm hands, happy to be touched with tenderness after hours of pain. When she’s done Jenna leans up to kiss him on the cheek, feeling him smile against her lips. He’s perfect. 

“Are you starving? Do you want some dinner? I never got to the grocery store today but I’m sure someone is still delivering, even with the snow.”

Josh follows her into the kitchen, bending down to scratch Clementine behind the ears as he passes her. “Yeah, sounds great. Pizza?”

They settle onto the couch, plates over their laps, and watch Futurama reruns while they eat. Josh laughs with his mouth full, Jenna pokes fun at him, and the pizza’s gone before long. There’s a heaviness to the air when they’re done, that Jenna doesn’t quite understand, until Josh starts speaking. He’s visibly nervous, hands twisting in his lap, and Jenna wonders how she hadn’t noticed it earlier. She’d forgotten all about her conversation with Tyler, but Josh clearly hadn’t. 

“Did you talk to Tyler?”

Jenna nods. “Mhmm.”

“Was he mad?” Josh looks close to tears and Jenna’s heart breaks. 

“Oh Josh, baby, no. He wasn’t mad. At either of us.” Her hand reaches out to cover his, and Josh laces their fingers together. 

“Are you sure?” Jenna nods and Josh visibly relaxes. “What did he say?”

“He said you were his best friend, that he loved you, and he could understand why I wanted to be with you too.” Jenna gave his hand a squeeze, smiling at him. “And he said if he had to share me with anyone, he was glad it was you.”

Josh chuckles shyly, his cheeks pinking up with a blush, and Jenna fights the urge to kiss him right then and there. “Leave it to Tyler to compliment me after I sleep with the girl he’s crazy about.”

This time it’s Jenna’s turn to blush, bumping into him softly with her shoulder. “He is not crazy about me, shut up.”

Josh isn’t having it, however, and he gives her hand a soft squeeze. “Yes, he is, Jen.”

Jenna doesn’t know what to say to that. She stares at Josh for a few moments, processing the earnestness in his face, before leaning against him fully and putting her head on his shoulder. Josh’s arm snakes around behind her, wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her close. He smells like dial soap and fresh snow, skin sparkling under the light of the Christmas tree. For not the first time that day Jenna lets herself think about the three of them. How much she cares for them, how much she needs them, how much she… loves them. 

She’d been so busy trying not to get too attached, trying to keep things casual so she didn’t end up in love with someone who lived two hours away, and instead she’d somehow fallen in love with them both. Tyler’s easy confidence, and Josh’s sweet shyness. Both of them making her feel loved and safe. She realized that their apartment was the only place that felt like home in Columbus anymore, that being with them was when she truly felt the happiest. And Jenna suddenly knew what she wanted for Christmas. 

\- - -

No one is surprised that Jenna decides to stay with the boys when she comes home for the holiday. (Okay, her oldest sister is a little surprised, but Jenna’s excuse that she won’t have to sleep on a couch at Josh and Tyler’s is quickly accepted.) When the elevator opens on their floor Jenna suddenly finds herself anxious. It had been a couple weeks since Josh’s visit, since the shape of their relationship had changed, and while things had been normal over phone calls and texts, seeing them in person would be decidedly different. Still, Jenna couldn’t deny that she was excited to have them both in her arms again. 

Tyler opens the door in the most hideous Christmas sweater Jenna has ever seen, and she immediately bursts out laughing. Josh jumps into view only a moment later, in a matching sweater, and Jenna can actually feel tears at the corners of her eyes. She covers her mouth, trying to quiet down, and they both parade around in front of her, showing her all sides of the sweaters. There’s not an inch of it uncovered, whether in lights, pom poms, or tinsel. Jenna wipes tears from her eyes, arms wrapped around her aching abs and looks them both over with pride. 

“Those have got to be the absolute _ugliest_ sweaters I have ever seen.”

“What are you talking about?! We look amazing.” Tyler pulls Josh against him with an arm around his shoulders, gesturing between the two of them. 

“Oh you do. You really do.” Jenna leans forward with a hand to Tyler’s cheek, placing a kiss on the other side. 

“So handsome.” She smiles at Josh before leaning forward to do the same for him. “My boys.”

Josh makes them dinner, which feels like a present all it’s own. Tyler can’t be trusted to boil water, and it’s usually Jenna who ends up cooking (or baking) for them when she’s in town, but Josh turns out to be a bit of a dark horse. The chicken pot pie is his mom’s recipe, something she makes every winter, and Jenna feels it warm her all the way down to her bones. She watches them laugh at each other over the table, filling her in on work, Josh’s hair (now a light pink color), and how many long sleeved shirts he’s purchased since getting his tattoo. Tyler talks about the team, his eyes shining, and Jenna promises to come see a game. 

It’s all surprisingly normal, and Jenna’s grateful her nerves have all been for nothing. There’s no lingering tension between the two boys, no awkwardness to navigate around, and Jenna feels relief settle over her shoulders. Maybe they really can make this work, maybe she really _can_ have everything she’s ever dreamed of, and more love that she’s ever had. They all stay at the table long after they’ve finished eating, talking and laughing, and Jenna decides it’s now or never. 

“Hey, so I wanted to ask you two something.”

Josh’s eyebrows quirk up and Tyler looks between the two of them before turning back to Jenna. “Ask _us_ something?”

“Mhmm. Both of you.” Tyler nods slowly as Josh straightens up in his chair, both of them watching her warily. “I’d like to stop seeing other people, and only date the two of you. Exclusively. Is that something you two would be interested in?”

Their eyes meet for a moment, before Tyler speaks. “Like, boyfriend and girlfriend. A relationship.”

“Mhmm.” Jenna nods. 

“Who would be your boyfriend?” Josh’s voice is small, like he already knows the answer, and it isn’t him. 

“Both of you. You’d both be my boyfriend, and I’d be your girlfriend. Just the three of us.”

Tyler glances at Josh again, who’s turning a rosy pink at the thought, before turning back to Jenna with a frown on his face. “I thought you didn’t want to do long distance.”

Jenna snorts. “If that’s the only issue with making this work, I’ll get over it.”

“You really want us both?” Josh is quiet again, someone used to being the second choice. 

“Yes, I want you both. You’re both amazing, and wonderful, and you make me feel more safe and loved than I ever have with anyone else. I know it’s not exactly traditional, but fuck traditional. I want both of you in my life, _need_ both of you in my life, and I’m not going to give you up because my mom might think it’s weird.”

They both laugh and Jenna grins at them. “So what do you think?”

Josh is first to speak, his enthusiasm clear. “I’m in.”

Tyler glances between the two of them, as a smile breaks out over his face. “Fuck it. I’m in, too.”

They finish the night on the couch, blinking Christmas lights turning their faces different colors. Tyler produces a joint from somewhere (“confiscated from a student,” he claims) and the three of them pass it back and forth. Jenna ends up resting against Tyler’s chest, her toes buried underneath Josh’s legs again. The night softens around them, everything going warm and fuzzy, and Jenna gets more and more giggly. Unsurprisingly the topic of high school comes up. 

“You were not a nerd! You were gorgeous, even then.” Josh fingers brush hers as he passes the joint back to her, smiling earnestly. 

“Yes I was.” Jenna takes a long drag before passing it over her shoulder to Tyler. “A gorgeous nerd, but a nerd all the same.”

She smirks at Josh and he laughs, Tyler joining in on his exhale. “You two would have had nothing to do with me in high school and look at me now! Dating you both! Take that Melissa Loeb!”

Jenna dissolves into giggles and the two boys follow suit. It’s comfortable, just the three of them, and Jenna’s so happy she doesn’t even know how to put it into words. She tilts her head back against Tyler’s shoulder until she can see his face. His eyes sparkle when the lights turn white, lips full and kissable. He catches her eye, seemingly knowing what she’s thinking, and leans down to press a kiss to her lips. Jenna hums contentedly as he leans back, bringing the joint to her lips again. 

She exhales, looking between the two of them, and has a thought. “You guys should kiss.”

Her voice is low, the smile on her face lazy, and Tyler gestures between him and Josh with a finger, incredulously. “ _We_ should kiss?”

“Mhmm.” Jenna nods against his chest. “Josh has never kissed a boy, and neither have you, Tyler. So you should kiss each other. See what it’s like.”

Josh pinks all the way to the tips of his ears at the suggestion, and Jenna files it away for a time she can think about it more. “We don’t have to.”

Tyler is looking at him strangely, before he announces, “No, let’s do it.”

“Really?” Josh practically squeaks, and Jenna smiles devilishly.

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll like it, who knows.” Tyler grins at him and they all dissolve into giggles again. 

“Okay, wait.” Jenna leans forward and twists in her seat, her back now against the couch and a path clear between the two of them. She gestures with the joint like dropping a flag at the start of a race. “Now go.”

Tyler laughs as he leans forward, Josh coming to meet him. They both look at each other for a moment, heads tipping like they don’t know what to do with their noses, before finally leaning forward. Their lips meet slowly, both timid, but then Tyler’s pushing in, his hand reaching for the back of Josh’s neck as the kiss deepens. Josh seems surprised at first, but then leans into it, his hand grabbing at Tyler’s shirt. They both inhale sharply, and Jenna feels a blush bloom out across her face, a familiar fire lighting deep down in her belly. 

She’s not surprised Tyler takes the lead, he’s always more confident, more sure of himself, but his enthusiasm _is_ unexpected. Arousal burns through her body as she watches them, their breaths hitching as the kiss continues, neither of them pulling away. She takes another pull off the joint, exhaling slowly, and the smoke seems to snap them out of it. They both lean back slowly, Tyler’s hand slipping from Josh’s neck to rest on his chest, while Josh’s fingers untangle from his shirt. 

They glance at her, lips swollen and glistening, both panting, and Jenna can’t help the first word that comes to mind. “Pretty.”


	5. Chapter 5

In the morning they wake up in a pile on Tyler’s bed. Josh’s face is buried in her hair, Jenna’s lips pressed against the crown of Tyler’s head. They’re heavy on top of her, both of them having moved closer together during the night, arms reaching out for each other over her. Jenna’s hand is against Tyler’s cheek, and she strokes it slowly with the pad of her thumb. Josh hums contentedly behind her, and Jenna turns her head so she can see him. The only thing visible is cotton candy pink hair, melded into her own blonde strands at her shoulder. 

Jenna can’t help the fond smile that breaks out over her face, looking between her two boys. Being with them was everything that she had dreamed, even better than she’d hoped, and now… Something had changed last night, when Jenna had suggested they kiss. She’d had her suspicions about Josh for a while now, but she’d never expected Tyler to jump in so willingly. And the way they’d looked at her after, like they were asking for permission…. Jenna shivers just thinking about it. 

Slowly she extracts herself from between them, pulling herself up on the bed until she can wiggle free. Neither of them wake, both rolling in to fill the empty space she’s left behind. Tyler tucks his leg over Josh’s thigh, and Josh’s head comes to rest against his shoulder. Jenna lets herself watch them for a minute, smiling softly, before tiptoeing out of the room and closing the door behind her. The apartment’s kitchen feels like hers by now, and Jenna no longer struggles to find what she’s looking for. By the time the boys join her in the kitchen less than an hour later, the cinnamon rolls are nearly done. 

“G’morning.” Tyler’s voice is gruff from sleep, his smile lazy as Jenna turns to them. 

“Morning.” Josh is rubbing at his eyes, wearing Tyler’s t-shirt, only a few steps behind. 

“Good morning.” Jenna smiles, looking over them both. “Cinnamon rolls are almost done.”

“Mmm.” Tyler hums contentedly, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek. “Smells amazing Jen.”

Josh looks shy in front of them, like he’s intruding on their moment. Jenna could remember the morning, not so long ago, when he would have been. But things had changed, it wasn’t just her and Tyler anymore, it was Josh too. Jenna shuffles over to him, wrapping her arms around his torso, and feels Josh sigh in relief under her. He dips his head to press a kiss against her temple, his arms wrapping around her too, and Jenna smiles against his chest. When they separate Tyler’s looking at them, his eyes soft. 

The timer goes off on the oven, and Jenna moves to answer it. “I have to go to my sister’s tonight. I promised I’d spend Christmas Eve with them so we could do presents in the morning.”

Josh and Tyler exchange a look behind her, before sitting down at the kitchen table. 

“Okay.” Tyler speaks first, followed by Josh. 

“So we should give you your present now then.”

Jenna whips around, almost dropping the baking sheet. “You guys got me a present?”

Josh laughs at the earnest surprise on her face, and Tyler answers. “Of course we did, it’s Christmas.”

Tyler glances at Josh, who rises from the table and disappears into the living room. Jenna places the cinnamon rolls on top of the oven, turning it off and giving them some time to cool. She crosses the kitchen to take the chair Josh had vacated, just as he reappears. The package is long, but surprisingly heavy when he places it in her hands. Jenna fights the urge to shake it like when she was a kid. Josh stands next to Tyler on the other side of the table, both of them watching her. 

“Well, open it.” Tyler laughs, motioning to the colorful package. 

Jenna’s fingertips slide under the wrapping paper, pulling it apart carefully. She was never one to rip into presents, even as a kid, instead preferring to enjoy the anticipation just a little bit longer. The layers come undone to reveal brightly colored plastic, and it takes Jenna a second to put it all together. Inside is a Penny board, it’s plastic deck reminiscent of Josh’s blue hair. Jenna pulls it out reverently, flipping it over to take in the tie-dyed bottom and crystal purple wheels. It’s a candy-colored dream. 

“It was Josh’s idea.” Jenna glances up in time to see Josh elbow Tyler in the ribs softly, both of them smiling. “He said you wanted to learn, so we thought we’d teach you.”

Her eyes are burning, and Jenna can feel tears collecting at the corners. “Thank you. I love it.”

Jenna places the board on the table carefully, rising so she can come around to the other side. Josh is easy to throw an arm around first, and then she’s hauling Tyler up by a fist in his t-shirt. The younger boy laughs as he slips an arm around her as well, both of them wrapping her up in a hug. Jenna squeezes them tightly around her, and tries not to let the tears on her cheeks fall. She’s so happy it’s difficult, but somehow she keeps it together. 

“Okay, enough of that. Breakfast.” She sniffles, swiping a hand at her cheeks and the boys both smile at her. 

The cinnamon rolls disappear in quick succession, and Jenna’s just happy she gets at least one this time. Between bites they talk about everything and nothing: plans with their families, Tyler’s last minute practice with the team, and whether or not they think it’ll snow Christmas Day. Neither of them mention the previous night, and Jenna gets the impression they’re not going to. Not so much because they’re embarrassed, or ashamed, but because it’s the elephant in the room—too big to talk about. 

When they’re done Tyler excuses himself, hopping in the shower before running off to the high school. Jenna and Josh both give him a hard time about what a hardass he’s being, but Tyler shrugs it off, laughing. A quick kiss on the cheek for Jenna and then he’s gone, leaving her and Josh in the kitchen. Jenna trails a finger over the skateboard, staring at it longingly and Josh takes notice. 

“Should we take it out for a spin?”

Jenna eyes him incredulously. “Sweetheart, it’s snowing outside.” 

“Who said we’re going outside?” Josh grins at her mischievously. 

Thirty minutes later Jenna is standing on her Penny board, in the middle of the hallway, with Josh at her front. His hands are wrapped around her arms, steadying her, and Jenna does her best not to lean into him. It’s harder than she expected, finding her balance on the narrow board. Josh and Tyler had made it look so easy in high school, Jenna had assumed she’d just step on the board and go. That was clearly not the case. 

“Try and center your body right over the middle of the board. You’ll lean when you want to turn but right now we just wanna go straight.”

Jenna does as she’s told, pulling back until just her fingertips rest on Josh’s forearms. Her stomach clenches painfully, trying to keep herself balanced, but she doesn’t fall, and Jenna counts it a win. Josh looks down at her feet, black Vans centered in the middle of the board, and back up at her. He’s got a smile on his face that makes the dim hallway seem lighter. 

“Okay, you’re gonna turn your left foot forward, put your right on the ground, and push. I’ll hold on to you.”

Jenna follows his instructions, wobbling a bit, but moving a tiny bit forward down the hallway. Josh grins at her. “You’re a natural.”

“Shut up, I am not.” Jenna laughs nervously, her hands digging into Josh’s forearms when the board tips precariously. 

He laughs. “You’ll get better, don’t worry. By spring you’ll be flying past me and Tyler.”

Jenna looks up at him, a small smile on her face, noticing the way Josh’s eyes soften at the mention of the other boy. “Josh?”

“Hmm?”

“Are we gonna talk about last night?” Josh turns bright pink, his cheeks rivaling his hair. 

He glances down at the board before answering. “Maybe we should do that when you’re not at risk for falling on your ass.”

“Sounds good to me.” Jenna nods slowly, stepping down off the board. She bends down to pick it up, holding it across her stomach with both hands. “So?”

Josh looks at her, confusion on his face. “So, what?”

Jenna rolls her eyes, punching him lightly in the arm. “So, you kissed a boy last night. How was it?”

Josh turns pink again. She’ll get to that in a minute. “It was…good.”

Jenna laughs kindly. “Yeah I got that impression.”

The tips of Josh’s ears are turning pink. “Was it good just in general, or… was it good because it was Tyler?”

Josh opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but nothing comes out. Jenna watches his eyes turn from shocked to understanding, and she reaches out to place a hand on his arm. “You like him, don’t you?”

Josh nods slowly. “How long have you liked him?”

He lets out a sigh. “Forever? I don’t really know. That’s why that conversation hit me so hard that morning. Did I want to _be_ him? Or did I want to be _with_ him?”

Jenna smiles at him sadly. “Maybe you should talk to him about it. He seemed to be enjoying himself last night too.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Josh glances down at his hands and Jenna gives his arm a light squeeze. 

“Come on, I need some water. This is exhausting.” Josh laughs as he watches her head back to the apartment. 

“We didn’t even get to the end of the hallway!”

\- - -

Christmas is quiet and perfect. Jenna gets woken up far earlier than any sane human should be, but can’t find it in her to be upset. It’s too lovely being surrounded by her family, seeing her mom and dad after all these months away, watching her nieces and nephews tear into presents. Josh and Tyler both text her to wish her Merry Christmas and Jenna gets caught smiling down at her phone by her sister. Tyler reminds her about the game in two days and she promises to be there. Her mom convinces her to stay with the family just a couple more nights, just so they can all be together. She has a hard time saying no to that one. 

Going back to her high school feels weird. Jenna parks in the same spot she parked in all of senior year, and finds she can still navigate around the campus practically with her eyes closed. The gym looks the same, maybe with a few more championship banners, and it’s weird seeing kids she doesn’t know on the court. She spots Tyler easily, in a bright yellow track jacket, whistle in hand. She keeps expecting him to whip it off suddenly and charge on to the court, but it doesn’t happen. 

During halftime she watches him scan the crowd, giving him a small wave when his eyes pass over her. His whole face lights up in a grin and Jenna can’t help smiling in return. She can’t be positive, but she’s pretty sure he spends the whole second half with his chest puffed out, racing back and forth down the court with the players, just because he can. The team wins easily, though Tyler would probably insist it was closer than they realized, and Jenna gets caught up in the excitement of the crowd. 

She waits for him outside the gym when it’s over, like she’d imagined all those years ago. It’s almost a disappointment when he comes sauntering out without his letterman jacket on, but Jenna likes the coach jacket far more. “Nice game, coach.”

He turns at her voice, noticing her leaning against the wall. “Hey thanks. It was a tough one but we pulled it off.”

Jenna laughs as he wraps her up in a hug, placing a quick kiss on her lips. “Need a ride, stud?”

He chuckles against her lips, leaning in to kiss her once more. “Awfully kind of you.”

“Just doing my bit to support the team.” She gives him a soft slap on the ass and he laughs. 

They walk back to her car with Tyler’s arm slung across her shoulders, his gym bag on his own shoulder. Jenna feels like she’s in high school again, heading off campus for lunch with her boyfriend, already planning on skipping fourth period. She can’t help laughing to herself and Tyler notices, glancing down at her. Jenna turns pink under his gaze. 

“What?”

“I was just thinking. I feel like I’m in high school again, walking around here. With you.” Tyler smiles as he pulls her closer, placing a kiss on her temple. 

“Funny how things work out, huh?”

“Mhmm.” Jenna nods, settling her head further on his shoulder. 

Jenna watches him the whole drive home, though she tries to be inconspicuous. She wonders if Josh has talked to him yet, if they’ve even mentioned the kiss that they’ve shared. Tyler doesn’t seem the type to freak out, especially after taking Josh’s coming out so casually, but Jenna knows what it’s like to suddenly have your entire understanding of yourself challenged. She wants to ask, wants to know what he’s thinking, but she’s not sure it’s her place. Tyler may be her boyfriend now, but how he felt about her _other_ boyfriend was really his business. 

“What is it, Jen?”

“What?” She’s so surprised by the question she doesn’t have to fake her reaction. 

“You’ve been staring at me the whole ride home. You’re not as subtle as you think you are, babe.” Tyler chuckles and Jenna has the decency to blush. “So what is it?”

“It’s just—“ Jenna undoes her seat belt once they’re parked, turning in her seat so she can face him. “Did I, overstep, when I told you and Josh you should kiss the other night? It seemed like a good idea at the time and I don’t regret it exactly I just—“

“Jen.” Tyler cuts her off, and Jenna realizes she’s talking a mile a minute.

Jenna lets out a deep breath. “I wouldn’t want to be the cause of any trouble between you and Josh. I care about you both very much, and I know how much you care about each other. I’m sorry if I made things uncomfortable.”

Tyler sighs, leaning back in his seat and glancing out the front window. “You didn’t make things uncomfortable. I might have been a little high but I meant what I said, I wanted to try it.”

“And?”

“And it was, really nice. Kissing Josh is different than kissing you, but I liked it. And now I’m—“ Jenna doesn’t breathe for fear of spooking him. “I’m wondering if there’s other things I’d like that I’ve never tried before.”

He turns to face her, and Jenna smiles at him softly. “Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Tyler turns red, a deeper blush than she's ever seen on his face, and Jenna rests a hand on his arm. 

“Tyler, you know you can tell me anything.” He nods silently. “And I certainly understand the appeal of Josh Dun.”

He laughs softly, the blush beginning to abate, and Jenna continues. “So if there’s something you want to try, you can tell me.”

Tyler leans further into the headrest, taking her in. His eyes are filled with such tenderness, and Jenna rubs at his arm softly with her thumb. Tyler lets out a sigh. “I think I should talk to Josh about it first.”

It’s more than Jenna’s expecting, anticipating a hushed confession in the car that will never see the light of day. She tries to keep the pleased surprise off her face, giving his arm a soft squeeze. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Josh is still out when they get home, at his parents’ house, Tyler explains. They curl up in bed, watching Friends reruns on late night tv, until they’re both slipping off to sleep. Jenna hears the door open around 11:00, watches as Josh’s dark form comes down the hallway. He glances into the open doorway of Tyler’s room, and Jenna holds a hand out for him. She can just barely see the shadow of his smile in the dark as he walks closer, settling onto the edge of the bed. 

“Hi baby.” She whispers, as Josh leans down to place a kiss on her lips. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He whispers back, brushing the hair from her face. 

“Come to bed.” Jenna doesn’t think much before she says it, just wants both her boys with her. 

“In here? With you guys?” Josh seems surprised, whispered voice nervous. 

“Mhmm.” Jenna nods. “Tyler, Josh can sleep with us, right?”

Tyler stirs, turning to take in Josh, still half asleep. “Mmm yeah, sure. C’mon Joshie.”

He turns back over, burying his face back in his pillow, and Jenna watches Josh smile. “Okay, be right back.”

When he crawls in between the covers behind Jenna he’s shirtless, in a soft pair of red plaid boxers. Jenna wonders briefly if they were a Christmas present, but finds she’s too tired to ask. Josh throws an arm over her, his fingers just barely touching Tyler’s arm, and the other boy hums contentedly. Jenna pulls Tyler tightly against her with her own arm, sandwiched between her two boys. It’s warm, it’s safe, and it’s home. 


	6. Chapter 6

Tyler’s bed becomes _their_ bed while Jenna is home. Doesn’t matter who crawls in first, or who falls asleep first, they all end up in the same place. Jenna starts to forget what it’s like to sleep alone, and as much as she misses Clementine, the idea of returning to her quiet studio apartment fills her with dread. She and Tyler don’t talk about Josh again, but Jenna feels a weird air throughout the apartment. Josh and Tyler act like nothing has changed, and she’d be willing to believe that, if she didn’t know them so well. If Tyler talks to Josh like he said he would he doesn’t tell Jenna about it, and she doesn’t witness it. 

New Years becomes the next topic of conversation, and Jenna lets her family know early on that she’ll be spending it with her boys. They don’t know yet what that “her” implies, but Jenna gets a secret thrill every time she uses it. They bounce between party invitations, chill nights with friends, and even just dipping downtown for a bit to get caught up in the crowd. Eventually they settle on staying home, just the three of them, an option they’d enjoyed more and more since Christmas. 

Jenna slips on a T-shirt and sweatpants, curling up on the couch where they’ve got Die Hard playing, waiting for the ball to drop in a couple hours. Josh slips in next to her, and Jenna pillows her head against his chest, his heartbeat in her ear. There’s not much room left on the couch but Tyler manages to slip in, between Josh and the arm furthest from Jenna. It’s quiet, the snow falling outside the window, and Jenna sighs contentedly. When Tyler suddenly lifts himself from the couch it takes her and Josh by surprise. 

He stands in the middle of the room for a second, staring at the TV, and Jenna reaches out softly. “Ty? You okay?”

When he turns around his eyes are determined, lip between his teeth and Jenna doesn’t have any time to consider what’s coming. “I need to talk to you guys.”

“Okay.” Josh chuckles nervously, his arm slipping from around Jenna’s shoulders. She gets the impression he still thinks he’s about to be told off at any second, for having the nerve to touch Tyler’s girl. 

“Can I—?” Tyler motions to the TV and they both nod, watching as he picks up the remote and mutes it. “Okay. So. I—“

He’s pacing now, clenching and unclenching his hands and Jenna wants to reach out and steady him. She speaks instead. “Ty, baby, what’s going on?”

Tyler finally comes to a stop in front of them, hands wringing together. “I wanna talk about the kiss.”

Jenna can feel Josh turn pink next to her before speaking. “Uh yeah, man, we can talk about it.”

Tyler plops down on the floor right where he’s standing, legs crossed below him. Jenna watches him quietly, suddenly understanding why things had gotten so tense around the apartment. 

“I liked kissing you, Josh. A lot.” Jenna realizes she’s holding her breath as Tyler speaks. “Did you like kissing me too?”

“Yeah.” His voice is quiet, face pink all the way to his ears. 

“Did you like it because you were high or—“

“No. No, Tyler. I think—“ Jenna can almost hear him swallowing thickly. “I _know_ I would like kissing you whether I was high or not.”

Tyler glances his way at the emphasis, understanding sliding across his face. “Josh, do you have feelings for me?”

Jenna reaches out slowly for his hand, giving it a soft squeeze, and Josh looks down at her briefly before replying. “Yeah man, I do.”

Tyler nods slowly, glancing down at his knees as he processes. Josh and Jenna don’t speak, watching him and waiting for his reaction. After a full minute of silence Jenna’s not sure it’s going to come, and she gives Josh’s hand another soft squeeze, ready to step in and smooth things over. But then Tyler glances at her, resolve in his eyes, and Jenna takes a quick breath. 

“Jen, I’d like to kiss Josh again, if that’s okay with you.”

Jenna nods slowly, a smile on her face, and turns to Josh. “As long as it’s what Josh wants.”

Tyler joins her in gazing at the other boy. Josh turns from Jenna’s face, his eyes meeting Tyler’s, and slowly gives a nod of his own. “Yes. Please.”

It’s the please that gets them both; Jenna knows Tyler’s feeling every ounce of tenderness for the older boy that she does. She scoots back against the arm of the sofa as Tyler walks over, giving them as much space as possible. She expects Tyler to lean down and kiss him, unsure, like before, but things have clearly changed since then. Tyler puts his knee on the side of Josh’s legs, swinging a leg over until he can sink down onto Josh’s lap. 

Josh lets out a little gasp, his hands going to Tyler’s thighs, and Tyler smiles down at him. Hands go to light pink curls, cradling Josh’s neck and pulling him forward. Josh looks like he might just cry, overwhelmed by the moment, and Jenna watches barely breathing. When their lips meet the kiss is soft, like Tyler’s trying to remember how it goes. Though Jenna doesn’t notice it, he must have moved against Josh’s lap, as the next thing Jenna hears is Josh moaning against him. 

Tyler takes the noise as encouragement, slipping his tongue past the other boy’s lips and deepening the kiss. Jenna watches, rapt, and begins to feel that heat again, the want coursing through her body. Tyler’s hands fist in Josh’s hair, pulling lightly, and Josh’s fingers dig into the younger man’s thighs. Their mouths fit together perfectly each time, each breathing deeply, pressing closer and closer. 

Jenna doesn’t realize she’s touching herself, hands slowly trailing down her chest, over hard nipples. Her hand dips below her sweatpants, underwear already damp beneath her fingertips. Jenna palms herself, thumb ghosting over her clit lightly, and inhales sharply. The boys turn at the noise, lips parting and chests heaving. Tyler’s the first to notice what she’s doing, and a wicked grin covers his face. 

“I think Jenna likes when we kiss too.” Jenna flushes, finger still lazy on her clit. “Don’t you, babe?”

She nods silently, hips bucking up lightly from the couch. Tyler glances down at Josh, the older boy’s eyes already a little glazed over, pupils blown and lips swollen. He brushes the curls from his forehead, rubs his finger over the freckles across his cheeks, and smiles at him fondly. Josh’s hands inch up his back, slipping under the hem of Tyler’s T-shirt, and when they meet his skin Tyler shivers. 

“What else should we show her, babe?”

Josh looks like a kid in a candy store, everything at his fingertips and having no idea where to start. “I—I wanna blow you.”

Tyler turns red at the suggestion, hand grasping tightly at Josh’s curls, before turning to Jenna. “What do you think, Jen? Should I let Josh blow me?”

Jenna nods quickly, her eyes hungry. “I wanna see that.”

Tyler slides off Josh’s lap, standing so that he and Josh can change places. As he sinks into the couch Josh sinks to his knees, hands already going for Tyler’s zipper. He doesn’t waste time in pulling his pants down, simply reaching his hand through the open fly and into Tyler’s boxers, pulling his dick out against Tyler’s stomach. Tyler’s already semi-hard, and Josh stares at it like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He lowers his head, but stops, and Tyler threads his hand through his curls. 

“Josh? Am I your first?” Josh lifts his head to nod slowly, and Tyler gives him a warm smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you what I like.”

Josh lowers his head, taking Tyler into his mouth, and Jenna groans quietly. Her thumb is still moving in soft circles over her clit, covered by her underwear and Jenna bathes in the slow build up. Tyler takes in a sharp breath as Josh slowly starts to slide up, his cheeks hollowed and tongue flat against the underside of his dick. 

“Fuck, Josh.” His hand tightens in Josh’s hair. “Go slow like that again.”

Josh lowers his head, taking in as much as he can, before pulling off slowly again, this time following up the motion with his hand. Tyler moans, throwing his head back, and Jenna’s breath hitches in her throat. Josh repeats the movement again, faster this time, sucking more strongly toward the end. Jenna’s other hand fists in the couch, looking between the two of them. They’re both flushed, Josh’s lips wet, and Tyler’s eyes squeezed shut. 

“Lick the tip.” Jenna’s surprised at her own voice, and Josh glances at her as his head bobs rhythmically. “He likes when you suck on just the head.”

Josh does as he’s told, pulling back on Tyler’s dick until only the head is left in his mouth, hand moving lazily up and down the shaft. Tyler cries out, his hand tugging at Josh’s hair, and Josh groans around the dick in his mouth. 

“Fuck.” Jenna whispers, thumb pressing into her clit, her other hand coming up to fondle her breast. She pulls her shirt up and over her head quickly, hand dipping underneath the cup of her bra. 

“Josh. Josh—“ Tyler’s voice stutters, hands digging into the other boy’s hair, and Josh slows, pulling his lips off Tyler’s dick with a soft _pop_. Tyler pants for a few moments, hands smoothing back Josh’s hair before he leans forward again, a smile on his face. “Don’t want to ruin the fun quite yet.”

Jenna watches as Tyler presses his lips against Josh’s again, a soft, warm kiss that seems to go on and on. Josh slumps down into the floor, like holding himself up is too much, and Jenna can see the outline of his dick in his joggers. He’s already hard. Tyler breaks the kiss, his hands still cradling Josh’s face, and turns to look at Jenna. She knows she must be a sight, one hand down her pants and the other in her bra. Her whole chest is hot in a flush, and she trembles under Tyler’s gaze. 

“Jen? What do you want, baby?” 

“I want you to come eat me out.” Jenna doesn’t have to think hard about it, her stomach clenching as Tyler moves toward her. 

He pulls her sweatpants down, agonizingly slowly, and takes in her wet panties. “You’re soaked already, babe.”

Jenna nods, lip between her teeth, and watches Tyler’s eyes turn dark and hungry. He pulls her underwear down quicker than the pants, following the fabric with kisses down her legs. Jenna shivers at each press of his lips, sliding down against the arm of the couch. Tyler settles in between her legs, bending her knees and pushing them up toward her stomach. His tongue is slow, licking a long stripe from the end of her folds to the top of her clit. Jenna groans. 

“Suck on her nipples, Josh.” His voice is muffled, lips pressed against her, but Josh gets the message. 

Tyler licks at her again, tongue connecting with her clit just as Josh wraps his lips around her nipple. Jenna cries out, hand fisting in Josh’s pink curls. She can feel Tyler smiling against her as he begins licking in earnest, pausing to suck at her clit briefly before continuing. Jenna can’t control the sounds coming out of her, soft whimpers and breathy moans, as both boys work her over. Josh switches between her nipples until both are hard and oversensitive, and Jenna can feel her orgasm building. 

She cries out, back arching against the couch as she comes, and both sets of lips suddenly disappear. The air is cold on her breasts, against her cunt, and it’s like a shock across her skin. She turns her head, panting, and finds them both watching her, their faces slack with awe and arousal. Josh looks painfully hard, and as Jenna comes down from her orgasm she reaches for him. Her hand brushes his groin, and Josh inhales sharply. 

“Someone needs to take care of you, baby.” Jenna slowly gets to her feet, legs shaky, and pulls Josh up with her. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss, nipping at his lip hungrily. 

When she turns to look at Tyler he’s watching them both, eyes dark, and Jenna reaches out a hand for him. “Let’s go to our bed.”

It’s the first time Jenna’s called it that, but it feels right. Tyler laces his fingers with hers, and the three of them walk the short hallway to Tyler’s room. Jenna climbs on top of the bed first, unhooking her bra and chucking it across the room. She lays against the pillows, a queen looking out over her subjects, and grins wickedly. She hooks a finger at Josh, who blushes crimson and strips quickly, crawling toward her on the bed. Jenna kisses him long and slow, until he’s putty in her hands. 

She strokes her thumbs over his cheeks softly and calls out. “Tyler?”

“Yeah?” She glances over Josh’s shoulder to find Tyler’s stripped, standing naked at the side of the bed, dick in hand. 

“Do you wanna blow Josh now?”

Tyler flushes at the question, breath catching in his throat. Jenna doesn’t want to push him into something he’s not ready for, but in the car he’d said himself that he wanted to try other things, and Jenna couldn’t help wondering if this was one of those things. Josh turns his head to look at him over his shoulder, ass still in the air from where he’s kneeling in front of Jenna. Jenna watches Tyler’s eyes roam over him, from his swollen lips and back again, settling on his ass. There’s a sharp intake of breath and Jenna gets an idea. 

“Or are you still hungry?”

Tyler nods quickly at the question, his face scarlet but his eyes dark. Jenna smiles, pleased, and motions him over with another crooked finger. “Josh, do you want Tyler to eat you out?”

“Yes, please.” It’s a whimper, and Jenna kisses him softly. 

“Roll over, lean up against me.” Josh does as he’s told, laying on the bed with his head against Jenna’s chest. Jenna runs her fingers through his hair, smoothing out his brow. 

Tyler crawls across the bed until he reaches Josh. The older boy’s dick lays heavy and swollen against his stomach. Jenna wonders if just touching it would make him cum, but she’s much more interested in the promised show. Tyler bends his head to place a soft kiss against Josh’s left inner thigh, before bending his knee up to his chest. He does the same on the right side, settling in between Josh’s legs. 

Tyler’s eyes glance up at Josh’s, half lidded. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Joshie.”

“Just touch me, please. Anything.” Josh is desperate, writhing against the bed, and Jenna splays her hands out on his chest. 

The moment Tyler’s tongue touches skin Josh cries out, his whole body trembling. Jenna drags her nails lightly over his skin, and Josh grabs at her hands. Tyler glances up at them before continuing, watching Josh pant as his whole chest turns pink. He licks slowly, almost unsure, waiting for Josh to respond before continuing. The older boy continues to whimper and moan, and Tyler grips at his thighs gaining confidence. 

“Jenna, throw me the lube in the nightstand.” She reaches out with her left hand to retrieve the aforementioned item, Josh’s eyes following her hand as she passes it to Tyler, a whimper on his lips. 

Josh watches as Tyler pours some of the lube on his hand, rubbing it over his fingers until they’re slick. Tyler reaches out a finger to probe at his entrance and Josh sucks in a breath. “Slowly.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I’m gonna take care of you.” Jenna shivers at Tyler’s use of the pet name, a new wave of arousal crashing over her. 

Tyler presses his finger in slowly, burying it up to the knuckle. Josh lets out a little sigh as the digit hits its mark, sucking in a quick breath as Tyler begins to move it. Once Josh is moaning underneath him again Tyler adds a second finger, sliding them in just as slowly. Josh hisses and Tyler stills, the older boy’s eyes squeezed shut. 

“Keep going. Please.” Josh’s voice is high and desperate, and Jenna and Tyler share a smile. 

Tyler fucks Josh with his fingers gently, opening and closing them further and further until they’re scissoring inside him. Josh moans as Tyler adds a third finger, pressing into his prostate as he bites softly at Josh’s inner thigh. The older boy writhes against Jenna’s chest, gripping her hands, and she sucks in a breath every time he brushes against her already sensitive cunt. Tyler looks up at her, noticing how flushed she is again already, before glancing down at Josh’s dick where it lays against his stomach, leaking. 

“What should we do next, Jenna?” Tyler’s grinning at her hungrily. 

“I think you should fuck Josh while I watch. Would you like that, Josh?” Josh whimpers again, nodding against Jenna’s chest, and she brushes sweaty curls from his forehead before meeting eyes with Tyler. “Do you wanna fuck Josh while I watch, Tyler?”

Tyler’s got an awed look on his face again, like he’s never really seen Jenna until this moment, and it feels delicious. He nods slowly. “Josh, baby, why don’t you get on your knees. Make it easier for him.”

Josh rolls over, the same awed look on his face, planting his knees underneath him until he can raise his ass off the bed. His head is at the perfect height for Jenna to lean in and kiss him, so she does, another long languid kiss while Tyler fists himself, dick coated in lube. Tyler lines up behind him, and Josh gasps. The younger boy places a hand against his back, fingers soft, an assurance that he’ll be gentle, and Josh lets out a sigh. Jenna cradles his face against her shoulder as Tyler slowly begins to slide in. 

Josh moans, his hands fisting in the bedspread, as Tyler works his way in. After a few moments he bottoms out, and Josh lets out a small cry, pushing back against him. Jenna kisses the side of his head and Josh pants against her skin, breath hot. “Please. Please.” 

It’s not clear what Josh is begging for, but Tyler takes a guess, pulling out slowly until he can thrust back into the older boy, hips slapping against his ass. Josh cries out again and Tyler continues, strokes slow and measured. Jenna feels that familiar rush as she watches them, hand traveling down her body to brush over her clit. Her fingers slip between her folds easily, pressing up against her g-spot as her thumb rubs at her clit again. She and Josh pant together. 

“More, please.” Josh follows the words with a soft bite to her collar bone and Jenna cries out. 

Tyler increases his speed, ramming into him harder now. Josh jerks forward with every thrust, his lips pressed against Jenna’s skin. Jenna rubs harder, fucking herself on her fingers and moaning loudly. The two of them prove to be too much for Tyler, his pace increasing again as he gasps out. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna—“ He doesn’t finish, his hips stuttering as he thrusts in to Josh once more as he comes. 

Josh moans, loud and long, and it sends Jenna over the edge beneath him. Her cunt clenches around her fingers, clit painfully sensitive, and Jenna grabs at Josh’s curls where his head is pressed against her shoulder. He kisses over the marks he left on her skin as she rides her orgasm. Tyler slumps against him, placing kisses along his back and Josh hums. Jenna glances down, noticing he’s still hard. 

“Josh, baby.”

“I’m so close, please.” His voice is pained, desperate. 

“Roll over. Tyler come up here to me.” Tyler pulls out, dick softening against his leg and crawls up the bed toward Jenna. “Condom, please.”

Tyler retrieves her one from the nightstand, handing it to her as Josh rolls over slowly. Josh’s entire chest is red, his dick swollen and heavy against his stomach. She throws a leg over him, coming to rest over his hips, like their first night together. Jenna rolls the condom on slowly, Josh moaning as she touches the oversensitive skin, before lining up. She pauses. 

“I’m gonna ride you, Josh. Until you give me one more orgasm. Can you do that for me?”

Josh nods quickly, hands already settling over her thighs. Jenna holds him steady as she sinks down, both of them throwing their head back. When they’re flush against each other she starts to move, placing her hands on his chest so she can bounce softly. Jenna moans as she fucks herself on Josh’s dick, nails digging into his chest. She catches sight of Tyler watching them, blissed out and smiling. 

“Kiss me, Ty.” He leans forward eagerly, one hand cupping her face as the other palms her breast, pressing his lips against hers. 

She moans as his fingers pinch her nipple, rolling it gingerly as he licks into her mouth. Jenna increases her speed, mouth breaking away from Tyler’s as she begins to pant heavily. His lips move to her breast, sucking softly at the nipple he’d held between his fingers. Jenna moans, and Josh cries out beneath her, thrusting into her and holding her hips as he comes. She follows not long after, her nipple between Tyler’s teeth. 

Jenna shakes above him as her orgasm rips through her. It’s stronger than the other two, her entire body one exposed nerve, and Jenna gasps. Her body goes limp against Josh, his arms coming around her, and Jenna breathes against his skin. Tyler’s hands reach out to stroke her hair softly, pressing a kiss against the crown of her head. He pulls at her gently, rolling her against his chest as Josh slips out. 

Josh seems as overwhelmed as Jenna, and she watches as Tyler leans over her to take off the condom, tying it off and throwing it into the trash. Jenna snuggles up against Josh’s shoulder, still breathing heavily, and pulls Tyler’s arm across her. His fingers brush against Josh’s chest and the older boy sighs contentedly. 

“Wow.” Jenna whispers against Josh’s skin. She feels Tyler smile against her shoulder, before pressing a kiss there. 

“Yeah, wow.” His voice is husky, though seemingly less exhausted than her or Josh. 

Josh turns to face them, his smile lazy and his freckles dark against his pink cheeks. He raises a hand to brush it over Tyler’s fingers, catching Jenna’s skin as well and she smiles at him. “Okay for your first time, babe?”

“Perfect.” He nods softly, letting out a sigh. 

There’d be time for clean up in a few minutes, when Jenna was more sure that her legs wouldn’t fail her, and none of them seem pressed to move. Tyler nudges her shoulder softly with his nose, kissing her again lightly, as his fingers trail over Josh’s chest. Josh laces them between his own, turning to press a soft kiss against Jenna’s forehead. Somewhere outside there’s cheering, as the new year begins. 

Jenna starts her year exactly where she wants to finish it: surrounded by the boys she loves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special Happy Birthday to Josh, who gets to legally be horny on main now. Welcome to the club, babe. 😘


	7. Chapter 7

Jenna wakes to hushed voices. She’s alone in the bed, but still warm and cozy; someone’s tucked in the comforter up around her shoulders. After sliding out she grabs whatever’s closest—a pair of underwear from her bag and a discarded T-shirt from the floor (she’s pretty sure it’s Josh’s)—and pads out to the living room. The boys are in the kitchen, talking quietly, while Tyler stands over the stove. Jenna watches as Josh laughs, leaning in to place a kiss on Tyler’s cheek, who smiles and blushes softly. 

“G’morning.” She almost doesn’t want to disturb them, but waking up alone has left her lonely, and she wants desperately to be surrounded by them again. 

“Morning beautiful.” It’s Tyler’s usual greeting, and it warms Jenna all the way to her toes. “You want some breakfast?”

“I dunno, do I want some breakfast, Josh?” The older boy laughs as he crosses the kitchen, catching her with an arm and placing a kiss on her temple. 

“It’s actually not half bad. The eggs are even all the way cooked through. If you like that sort of thing.” The pink haired boy leans in until he can press his lips against her ear, whispering. “I think he’s been practicing.”

Tyler laughs. “I’m no you, babe, but I can cook an egg.”

“I think I’ll be the judge of that.” Jenna slides into a chair at the kitchen table, grinning at Tyler. 

He glances over his shoulder at her, returning the smile, before turning back to the frying pan. Josh wanders over back to him, looking over Tyler’s work. The younger boy tips his head toward Josh’s plate, and Josh loads up his fork with scrambled eggs, before feeding it to Tyler gently. Tyler smiles at him, chewing, and leans forward to kiss the older boy softly. Jenna realizes she’s staring at them, a small smile on her face, but she can’t seem to look away. They’re just so happy. 

When he’s finished Tyler brings over two matching plates of scrambled eggs. He and Josh both slide into chairs and Jenna suddenly realizes a third chair has appeared at the table. Since the first night she’d gone home with Tyler the table had only ever had two chairs. It was a small space, and only two people occupied the apartment, so it wasn’t surprising. Seeing the third chair pulled at her heart in a surprising way. They’d made room for her, at their little table, and in their lives. 

Jenna glances between the two of them, a smile on her face. “So is it official? Are we a throuple now?”

Tyler and Josh share a glance, smiles breaking out over their faces. Tyler’s the one who answers, and Jenna’s not surprised. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

He reaches out for Josh’s hand on the table top, lacing their fingers together, before reaching out for Jenna’s as well. Josh turns to smile at her before reaching for her other hand, and Jenna feels tears spring to her eyes as his warm fingers intertwined with hers. The three of them make a perfect circle around the table, and Jenna feels a pang in her chest. It’s more wonderful than she’d ever imagined. 

“Be honest.” Josh laughs. “This was your plan from the beginning, wasn’t it?”

They spend Jenna’s last day in Columbus together, doing whatever she wants. It starts with a skateboarding lesson in the hallway, which is promptly shut down when more than one neighbor comes out to complain. Jenna spends the afternoon showing them how to bake her famous chocolate chip snickerdoodles, and Tyler takes actual notes on a pad of paper for future reference. She and Josh share a look over his head, before Jenna leans down to kiss him softly on the temple. When she’s put off leaving as long as she can the boys sit on Tyler’s bed, talking to her while she packs. 

The idea of going back to Cleveland makes her want to cry, as much as she’s missed Clem the last week and a half. It doesn’t seem fair that Tyler and Josh get to be together, while she has to go back to her apartment alone. There’s a large part of her that’s happy for them, that they get to explore their changing relationship together, just the two of them. But there’s an equally large part of her that knows she’s going to miss them desperately. And that her little studio is going to feel so empty without them in it. 

Josh holds her for a full minute, face buried in her hair. Try as she might a couple tears still slip through, and when they separate there’s a small, dark spot near his collar. Tyler wraps both arms around her neck, pulling her in closely, and Jenna buries her hands in the back of his t-shirt. She feels one of his arms lift briefly and then Josh is covering her back, arms joining hers around Tyler. Jenna tries to memorize the feeling of them both around her. 

“This is silly, it’s not like I’m dying.” Jenna chuckles wetly, sniffling, her voice muffled against Tyler’s chest. 

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” Josh’s lips whisper against her hair. 

“Me too.” Jenna turns her head, trying to take a deep breath. “You guys will come visit me right?”

They both nod silently. “And we’ll FaceTime, and I’ll come home every month, and it’ll be summer break before you know it.”

More quiet nods, and above her head Jenna hears one of them sniffle. “I love you both. So much.”

She’s not planning on saying it, and it slips past her lips unbidden. Jenna wonders if it’s just become too hard _not_ to say it, like holding it in was more painful than the idea of putting it out there. She doesn’t even really care if they say it back, right then and there, because all that matters is they know. They should know how much she loves them, how much she’s going to miss them, how lost she is without them. They’re everything, and they should know. 

“I love you too, Jen.” Tyler’s voice is soft, and Jenna thinks it might have been him she heard sniffle. 

“Me too.” Josh pipes up, lips still resting against her hair. “I love you, Jenna.”

She smiles and pulls them tighter around her, like a shield against the cold, coming months without them.

\- - -

On Valentine’s Day she gets a card from the boys. It’s been a few weeks since her last trip home, and the day has been a rough one. Jenna had never put much significance on Valentine's Day, had always treated it like any other, but it this year it was harder. Not only did she have someone she loved, and who loved her, but she was far away from them both, and it left her feeling sadder than she wanted to admit. She couldn’t help smiling down at the envelope as she rode the elevator up to her apartment, waiting until she was safely inside to tear it open. 

The card was something romantic and sweet, no doubt picked out from the racks in Target, but it was the personalization that made her smile. Every “I” had been scratched out and replaced with “we,” some in Tyler’s handwriting and some in Josh’s. At the bottom was a simple note, bemoaning the lack of throuple cards at Target (Jenna loved being right), and expressing how much they loved and missed her. The very last line lit up her face in a smile. 

_FaceTime tonight at 7:00? Wear something cute._

By the time 6:30 rolls around Jenna’s pacing around her apartment impatiently. Clem weaves in between her legs a few times but eventually gives up, meowing at her plaintively from the bed. Jenna tries to busy herself around the apartment but nothing seems to help, they’re too far away and she’s too excited to see them to settle onto anything. When the familiar tone rings out Jenna almost runs for her phone, opening it to find her two boys waiting for her. 

Her face cracks wide in a smile. “Hi boys.”

“Hey Jen.”

“Hi Jenna!”

Their voices overlap, both smiling as brightly as she is, and Jenna can’t express how happy she is to see them. “You both look so handsome!”

Josh puffs out his chest a bit at the compliment, his black bow tie striking against his crisp white shirt. Tyler has a tie on, perfectly tied and nestled in the hollow of his throat. Jenna wonders if it’s the same tie he wears to games when the team travels, if he tied it or if Josh did it for him. Just looking at them reminds her of home, and Jenna feels a sharp pang in her chest. She can’t decide if this chance to see them, even through a screen, makes it better or worse. 

“Happy Valentine's Day.” Tyler smiles at her warmly, and Jenna forgets to be sad. 

“We miss you.” Josh adds in, his cheeks pink. 

“I miss you guys too. How’s it been going with the whole… new relationship thing?” She winks at them, smiling, and Josh turns pinker. 

“Good.” Tyler glances over at Josh and back to her. “Josh sleeps in my room most nights now. Well, ‘sleeps’ might be the wrong term.”

He winks at her lasciviously and Josh turns bright red. “See now, that’s just not fair. You guys get to have all the sex you want and I have to make do with my vibrator? Not cool.”

She watches Josh elbow Tyler in the ribs, but the younger boy doesn’t look any less proud of his remark. “We’re not having _that_ much sex.”

Josh is pink all the way to his ears, and Jenna shakes her head laughing. “Yeah, I so believe that J.”

“Maybe we should make it up to you, for Valentine’s Day.” Tyler grins wickedly and Jenna slowly realizes why they _really_ set up this FaceTime call. “Give you a show. You like that, right?”

Jenna nods silently, her cheeks already beginning to flush when Tyler continues. “Good. But you have to sit there, quietly, and watch. You don’t get to be in charge tonight.”

She squirms, already feeling herself grow warm with arousal. “Can I—?”

Jenna can’t get the question out, voice strangled, but Tyler knows what she means. “Yes, you can touch yourself. But the only thing I wanna hear is you moaning.”

Tyler’s not usually like this, usually preferring to defer to Jenna, letting her take the lead and set the pace. Jenna likes to be in charge, and knows exactly what she wants, both inside the bedroom and out. So she can’t help feeling a bit of a thrill at having that taken away from her, at having to truly sit back and watch. Her whole body trembles as she looks them over, knowing this is as much for her as it is for them. Tyler must have been planning this all along. 

She nods silently and Tyler smiles. There’s movement on the screen, and then she’s looking at a different angle, Tyler’s bed taking up most of the frame. The phone must be propped up on Tyler’s nightstand, she realizes. Jenna slowly walks over to her own bed, laying down against the pillows and pulling her dress up around her waist. She’s suddenly glad she’d decided it was the “cutest” thing in her closet. 

Tyler fists his hands in Josh’s shirt, pulling the older boy in for a kiss. Josh melts against him, hands going to Tyler’s hips, and Tyler leans in. When he breaks them apart Josh is panting, and Tyler smiles before slowly starting to undo the buttons of his shirt, sinking down with them until he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. He slides his hands over Josh’s abs, kissing his stomach softly, and Josh shivers. 

With his lips still pressed against the sensitive skin below Josh’s belly button, Tyler reaches for the waistband of his dress pants, unbuckling his belt, sliding the button through its hole, and pulling down the zipper. Jenna’s heart is in her throat as he slowly slides the pants down, taking Josh’s boxers with it, and freeing Josh’s dick. It bobs gently, already semi-hard, and Tyler glances over his shoulder at Jenna. She sucks in a breath.

Tyler takes hold of Josh’s hips with his hands, leaning down until he can take Josh in his mouth. The older boy gasps as lips meet skin, throwing his head back as Tyler slides further and further down his dick. She’s never seen Tyler give head, and already he looks like a pro, taking in so much she can’t understand how he doesn’t choke. Josh looks like he’s wondering the same thing, his hand grabbing at Tyler’s hair as he gasps. 

Tyler finally pulls back, almost all the way to the tip, before bobbing his head down once more. Jenna watches, rapt, as his head moves up and down, his hands growing tighter at Josh’s hips. Josh is moaning, his voice low, hand now fisted in Tyler’s hair. Jenna’s hand moves down her body, slipping underneath her underwear to palm herself. 

With a pop, Tyler pulls himself off of Josh’s dick, and Josh lurches forward involuntarily at the loss of suction. He glances down at Tyler, who must be grinning wickedly, and leans down to kiss him. Jenna can only imagine the taste of that kiss, with Josh on Tyler’s tongue. Her fingers slide between her folds easily, already slick and waiting. 

Tyler pulls himself up the bed, loosening his tie and undoing the first few buttons of his shirt so that he can pull it up over his head. Josh leaves his pants on the floor, shrugging off his shirt and bow tie before following Tyler up the bed. Jenna watches them hungrily, being careful not to make a sound, even as her finger starts to settle over her clit, rubbing lazy circles. 

This time it’s Josh undoing Tyler’s pants, sliding them down his legs to pitch them over the side of the bed. Jenna watches as he slowly hooks his index fingers into the waistband of Tyler’s boxers, drawing them down until his dick can bounce free. It lays against his stomach, heavy and leaking, and Jenna wishes she could reach out and touch it. 

“Fuck.” Josh groans, and Tyler looks up at him from half-lidded eyes. 

“You wanna lick it, Joshie? Just a little lick.”

Josh dips his head, his tongue licking a long stripe from the base to the head, and Tyler moans. “Fuck. Wrap those pretty lips around my dick, Josh. Give Jenna and I a show.”

Josh doesn’t need to be told twice, wrapping his hand around Tyler’s cock and pulling the head into his mouth. Tyler groans, loud and long, and Jenna pushes down on her clit until she arches up off the bed. A small moan makes it past her lips, and they both look at her through the screen. Tyler’s grinning, Josh’s lips still wrapped around his dick and Jenna convulses again, throwing back her head. 

Josh starts blowing Tyler in earnest, head bobbing up and down as his hand follows. Tyler’s own hands fist in the sheets, a steady stream of moans the only noise that can be heard. Jenna slips two fingers inside her cunt, thrusting slowly as her thumb continues to rub at her clit. She’s already so close, her first orgasm just barely out of reach. 

“Fuck, Josh.”

Josh’s mouth slides off Tyler’s dick slowly, moving down until he can mouth at Tyler’s balls, before dipping even lower. Jenna watches as he lifts one of Tyler’s legs, bending it at the knee so he can press it into his stomach. Tyler holds it there, hand on his ankle, as Jenna watches Josh slowly lick at his entrance.

Jenna comes hard around her fingers, crying out louder than she intended, head pressed into the pillows. Tyler grins at her on the screen, watching her come down, and tips his head at Josh to continue. Josh licks at him dutifully as Tyler shudders against the mattress. His hand grasps at the nightstand, almost knocking the phone (and Jenna) over, before finally connecting with the lube there. She watches as he hands it down to Josh, who smiles at him over his hip. 

Josh coats a hand as he continues to lick at Tyler languidly. Tyler’s writhing on the bed, gasping out. “More. Please more.”

It’s Josh’s cue to place a finger against his entrance, pushing slowly as Tyler’s breath catches. When he’s buried to the knuckle he begins to move slowly, twisting and thrusting inside Tyler. He gasps again, rolling back and forth slightly against the bed, his head thrown back and his eyes clenched shut. Jenna bites her lip, her finger already moving gently against her clit again. 

“More Josh. Please.”

Josh slips in another finger and Tyler practically bucks off the bed. He’s whining, high and desperate, and Josh fucks him slowly with his fingers. “Please, I’m ready, please.”

“One more.” Josh coos. “One more, baby boy. So I know you’re good and ready for my cock.”

Tyler moans at Josh’s words, as Josh slips a third finger past the tight muscle of his entrance, and fists his hands in the bedspread. Jenna’s hand is moving faster now, fingers pressing against her g-spot as her thumb rubs into her clit. Josh moves his fingers in an out of Tyler slowly, until the younger boy is practically crying, begging. 

“Please Josh, please. I wanna feel you.”

Josh leans back, settling his knees underneath him until he can line up with Tyler’s entrance. “Only because you’re so beautiful when you say please.”

He slides in with one quick motion, burying himself to the hilt, and Tyler groans again, loud and long. Before he has time to adjust Josh is fucking into him with quick, hard strokes that push Tyler further and further into the pillows. Tyler lifts one of his hands, splaying against the wall to steady himself, and grabs at Josh’s hip with the other. Josh is relentless, and still Tyler asks for more. Harder. Faster. _Harder._

Jenna’s fucking herself with her fingers now, hand quick inside her underwear. She briefly wishes she had another hand free to grab at her breast, but she doesn’t dare put the phone down. Josh is flushed and panting, his hands gripping at Tyler’s hips, and Jenna watches breathless, knowing what’s coming. Tyler’s hardly making any noises now, face buried in the pillow next to him. 

“Come with me, baby.” Josh’s voice reaches out to him, pulling Tyler’s face from the pillow. 

“Fuck, Josh. Fuck I’m gonna—“

Josh’s hips stutter just as Tyler cries out, white ribbons of cum painting over his stomach as his dick twitches. The older boy’s hands clutch at Tyler’s hips as he comes, groaning low until no sound can be heard. Jenna’s cunt clenches around her fingers, coming for the second time that night, and Jenna gasps. All three of them pant loudly as they come down, breaths mingling and overlapping. 

Josh pulls out of Tyler slowly, flopping down next to him on the bed. Jenna’s legs go slack against her bedspread, hand resting against her cunt. Tyler laughs breathlessly, patting Josh on the stomach with his closest hand. The older boy chuckles in response, his hand coming up to cover Tyler’s. 

“Can’t believe I was missing out on that for twenty eight years.” Jenna’s laugh joins theirs. “I can see why you wanted to make getting fucked by Josh Dun a regular thing, Jen.”

Jenna laughs again, her cheeks pinking. “That was really fucking hot, guys. Thanks for the present.”

“We’re all about the romance, baby.” Tyler laughs again, before Josh’s head pops up from behind his shoulder. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jenna/Tyler ✔️  
> Jenna/Josh ✔️  
> Josh/Tyler ✔️  
> Jenna/Josh/Tyler ✔️


	8. Chapter 8

In March Jenna gets the phone call she’s been waiting for. She thinks about telling the boys, about sharing what this could mean for them, but she gets scared. It feels too delicate, like if she loosens her fingers around it even a little bit it’ll disappear like smoke. She makes up an excuse for why she has to come to Columbus on a Thursday, instead of a Friday. Josh and Tyler are just happy to see her, so they don’t press for more convincing answers. 

Walking up to the apartment feels like coming home, and Jenna wonders briefly when that switch occurred. When it started feeling like she was visiting her studio in Cleveland, in between coming home to Columbus. They’re both waiting for her behind the door, all excited smiles and welcoming arms. Jenna wraps them around her like a blanket, inhaling the scent of home, and lets herself hope. 

“We have a surprise for you.” Josh is practically bouncing with excitement and it makes Jenna smile. 

“Tyler’s cooking dinner?”

“He said a surprise, not a punishment.” Tyler deadpans, his face a mask of concern, and the other two burst out laughing. 

Josh covers her eyes with one hand, his other hand on her shoulder as he steers her down the hallway. Jenna hears Tyler open a door, taking a step to the side, and then Josh is removing his hand to a chorus of “surprise!” Tyler’s double bed is gone, replaced with what appears to be a king. It looks huge in the space, but somehow still fits, and Jenna can’t help wondering how the hell they got it through the door. 

“It’s for us.” Josh says, a smile in his voice behind her. 

“So we can all sleep together. In one bed. Comfortably.” Tyler laughs, grinning at her, and Jenna finally understands. 

Like the third chair magically appearing at the table, it’s proof. Proof that what they’re doing isn’t weird, proof that it can work, proof that three people can love each other. Jenna’s struck again by how much the apartment feels like home, how she wants nothing more than to curl up in bed with her boys, and the tears spring to her eyes unbidden. Tyler’s the first to notice, standing at her side, and reaches out a hand on her arm. 

“Hey, are you okay?”

Jenna nods silently, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. Tyler pulls her closer immediately, glancing at Josh over her head. The older boy is there just as quickly, wrapping his arms around her back. Tyler whispers, asking again if she’s okay, and Jenna nods. She’s more than okay; she’s with the boys she loves, in the place that feels like home, and it’s where she wants to be always. She almost decides to tell them, but is suddenly gripped with the fear of jinxing it. 

“It’s a wonderful surprise, thank you.” Jenna can feel them grinning against her hair, pleased with themselves. “Can we just stay in tonight? Order pizza, curl up in our bed together, and fall asleep early?”

They share a glance before Tyler answers. “Sounds perfect.”

Morning comes too quickly, and it’s the first time all three of them have had to get ready in the same apartment. Josh is easy, brushing his teeth quickly before running a hand through his hair and announcing “done.” Jenna gives him a kiss on the cheek as they pass each other in the doorway of the bathroom. Tyler also insists on doing his tie in the bathroom, for some reason, despite having a mirror in his bedroom. A fact Jenna helpfully points out for him. 

“The lighting’s better in here.” 

“Which is why I need it to do my makeup.”

“Now see, you’ve messed me up and I have to start over.” He moans, fiddling with the tie. 

“Oh just gimme.” Jenna swats his hands out of the way softly, tying the tie with deft fingers. “Now scoot.”

She pushes him out the door gently, as Tyler glances down at his tie, bewildered. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Somehow they all managed to get out the door on time. Both of the boys question where she’s headed so early, but Jenna makes a vague excuse and they don’t press. The drive to the district office is weird. Jenna realizes as long as she was a student in Columbus she’d never actually set foot there. In fact, she hadn’t even known where it was before being given the address. She somehow feels like a kid again, walking through the door, like she doesn't quite belong there. 

“Jenna Black? We’re ready for you, dear.”

Jenna follows the older woman to a nearby conference room, an interview panel already waiting for her. It’s the standard interview questions, ones she remembers answering not so long ago in Cleveland. She’s struck by how much has changed since then, the experience she can put in her answers, the examples she can pull from the last few years. Her first interview, as a new grad, had lasted all of ten minutes, this one takes more than forty. 

“Would you mind sticking around for just a bit, Jenna?”

She nods, taking a seat in the chairs grouped around the entrance to HR. It’s a good sign, right? That they’ve asked her to stay. If she was hideously unqualified and a chore to work with they’d have sent her away already, right? Jenna tries to keep taking long, slow, deep breaths, willing her leg to stop bouncing, but her whole body feels like it’s vibrating. There’s too much at stake, and she wants it too much. 

On the drive home she stops at a market, picking up first a bottle of champagne, and then a truly heinous birthday cake, covered in that sugary sweet frosting she loves. It’ll probably make her sick later, but all she can think about is it coating her tongue, how it tastes like happiness. She stops by the high school next, planning on parking in her old spot but finding it taken. Some senior, no doubt. 

It’s easy to find Tyler’s classroom, a cacophony of noise traveling down the hallway. Jenna adjusts her visitor sticker on her chest, before peeking around the open doorway. Tyler notices her almost immediately, looking instantly concerned. She smiles at him, waving him off slightly, enjoying seeing him in his element. The students clearly adore him, listening intently to every word, calling out little jabs that he laughs at good-naturedly. It’s wonderful to see him so happy. 

“Hey, babe.” He leans around the doorway to place a kiss on her cheek, his quiet voice barely audible above the students practicing behind him. 

“Hey. I just wanted to stop and say hi, see you doing your thing. I told them I was a colleague coming to observe you.” Jenna winks at him conspiratorially and he laughs.

“Make sure you give me a good evaluation then.” He smiles at her with so much affection in his eyes that Jenna almost tells him. 

“I’m gonna make dinner tonight, what do you want?” Food always was Jenna’s love language. 

“Whatever you wanna make, babe. Your food is always incredible.”

“Helpful, thank you.” He chuckles, kissing her cheek as she frowns lightly. “Maybe Josh’ll give me a real answer.”

“May be.”

They exchange a quick kiss goodbye, and Jenna slips out. The hallways are so quiet with all the kids in class, and for just a moment Jenna feels like her old self walking through. She’d been so lost back then, surrounded by people but feeling so alone. She’d had friends that she loved, people she trusted above all others, but never felt that fluttering feeling when someone looked her way. She’d wondered if she’d always feel that way, like she was never good enough for anyone. Jenna was relieved to find that she didn’t feel like that anymore. 

The music store is empty when she pulls up, not a customer in sight. She’s secretly pleased, knowing it means she can distract Josh all she wants. His bright yellow hair is visible all the way from outside, and Jenna can’t help grinning. She stands at the counter for a bit, waiting for Josh to notice her, but he just continues to bob in between the aisles, replacing and straightening the albums. She finally decides on ringing the bell, repeatedly, until his head pops up. 

“Excuse me, excuse me sir? The service here is just terrible.”

He grins at her over the aisles, and Jenna smiles back. She watches his long, lean frame weave it’s way back up to the front of the store, sweeping her up in a big hug. “What’re you doing here?”

“I stopped by to see Tyler, so I thought I should stop and see you too.” Josh smiles down at her as he releases her from the hug, pressing a quick kiss to her temple. 

“Well, you’ve got me all to yourself.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Jenna glances around the store as Josh slides behind the counter, pulling another box of CDs in front of him. “Should I be worried about you, babe?”

He waves her off, a soft _pft_. “Just slow when the kids are in school. Come back around 3:00, we’ll be hoppin’.”

“Good to know.” Jenna crosses her arms, resting them on the counter. “Maybe you can help me then. I need something new to listen to. My boyfriend tells me I need to ‘expand my music taste.’”

Josh laughs at the air quotes, a slight blush on his cheeks. “Your boyfriend sounds like a bit of a pompous ass.”

“He certainly can be.” They both devolve into giggles, thinking about calling Tyler a pompous ass and the reaction it would no doubt elicit. 

“I’ll try and find you something he’d approve of then.”

Jenna follows him around the store, letting him fill her hands with CDs from different sections. Each one comes with a description: what she’ll like and why, who they remind Josh of, what he loves about them. Jenna loves listening to him talk, seeing the passion in his eyes with every word. She tries to remember the nervous boy who’d called her less than a year ago but finds she can’t. Every time she thinks of Josh now he looks like this: happy, trusting himself, shining like the sun. 

He only lets her pay for two of them, insisting he pick up the other three. Jenna gives him a hard time about it but relents when she realizes how much joy it brings him to buy them for her. Josh is always acting like he has to pay her back for what she’s given him, like he hasn’t already given her everything she’s ever wanted. Jenna makes a mental note to tell him that more. She listens to her new CDs on the way back to the apartment. Unsurprisingly she loves every one. 

Tyler gets home first, a few minutes before Josh. Jenna knows school’s been out for hours, but there’s no rest for Coach Tyler and his team. He’s sweaty, his hair mussed, and he leans down to give her a quick, salty kiss before excusing himself to go take a shower. Josh sits in the kitchen with her while she cooks, asking about the CDs and what she thinks. His eyes light up every time she mentions a song that pulled at her, or a lyric that hit her like a punch to the chest. She loves watching him blush every time she compliments him on picking them out for her. 

Tyler returns for the kitchen in just a towel, sliding on to Josh’s lap and wrapping his arms around the other boy. Jenna points at him with her wooden spoon, admonishing him. “That better not be what you’re wearing to dinner young man.”

“What?” He glances down at his bare torso and the damp towel. “I thought you two liked my body.”

“I do.” Josh snakes his arms around Tyler’s waist, pulling him closer and kissing him on the shoulder. 

“Thank you.” Tyler smiles down at him, before leaning in for a kiss. He turns back to Jenna with a pout. “At least Josh loves me.”

“Oh hush.” Jenna laughs. “You are not eating dinner naked, end of discussion.”

“Fine.” Tyler stands up, a pout on his face that slowly morphs into a grin, as he drops his towel theatrically. “Whoops.”

They both watch him saunter out of the kitchen, laughing, as Jenna shakes her head, calling after him. “Nice ass!”

“I know!”

Dinner’s always a lengthy affair, all three of them trying to talk about their day, overlapping and drowning out each other. Jenna finally has to lean over and put her hand over Tyler’s mouth, laughing, so that Josh can finish a story from that afternoon. As soon as she removes her hand Tyler picks up right where he left off, mid sentence, barely pausing for breath before finishing his story. Josh makes a comment about putting his mouth to better use and they all glance around the table at each other, silently, the air suddenly charged.

Jenna finally clears her throat, putting her fork down. “So I got some news today.”

The two of them turn to look at her, forks poised over their plates. “The thing I went to this morning was a job interview. For the school district.”

Josh’s eyes light up first, followed closely by Tyler’s, both of them understanding the implication of her words. Both seem to hold their breath, and Jenna smiles widely. 

“They still need to check references and things, but basically they offered me a job for next school year.” The table erupts into noise, both of them congratulating her, and Jenna waits until it’s quiet again. “So I was wondering if you guys wanted another roommate, starting this summer?”

Her cheeks are warm in a blush, and Jenna can’t keep the smile off her face. They both don’t bother answering, pushing away from the table until they can come around and scoop her up in their arms. Jenna laughs, tears in her eyes as they both pull her close, peppering her head with kisses and bouncing excitedly. Her heart feels so full Jenna worries it might actually burst, and she can’t remember ever feeling this happy. To share a home with her boys, doing a job she loves, in a city that feels like it’s hers again. It’s everything she’s ever wanted. 

They end up in their bed, glasses of champagne balanced with plates of cake. Jenna cuts herself one that’s almost all roses, and the boys make fake gagging sounds every time she takes an overly sugary bite. She smiles at them, frosting in her teeth, and they both bemoan how disgusting she is. In response she places sugary kisses on each of their cheeks, laughing to herself. Josh licks Tyler’s off his cheek, and they all dissolve into laughter again. 

“You know, this cake and the champagne pair disturbingly well.” Tyler looks over his fork, surprise in his eyes. 

“Right?” Jenna motions at him with a full forkful, before sliding it between her lips. 

“Only the finer things for our girl.” Josh looks up at her adoringly from where he’s pressed into the pillows, a smile on his face. 

Jenna grins. “Cake, champagne and a threesome: talk about a perfect Friday night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your love and support of this fic! It means the world to me.


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